Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash

I love giving gifts. It’s fun to think about what my friends and family enjoy doing, or would love to have but wouldn’t buy for themselves. Finding something the recipient will really love brings me great joy.

But giving gifts is not always about things, or even experiences. Instead of a list of stuff to buy, here are four gifts that cost nothing at all and take up no room (these gifts relate to how we treat others, but we can offer them to ourselves, too):

1. Time. We’re all so busy that it’s easy to get caught up in what we have to do. Make sure spending time with friends and family makes our to-do list. The next time a friend wants to get together for lunch or a parent asks us to come for a visit, make it happen. Zig Ziglar was right when he wrote, “Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had’ or ‘I’m glad I did.’”

2. Attention. Somehow our world of constant online connection has made us more disconnected than ever. We can give the gift of attention by putting our phones away, looking others in the eye, and listening to what they’re saying without interrupting or trying to hurry them along.

3. Kindness. It’s really not that difficult to be kind. All it takes is a little self-control, a little putting-ourselves-in-others’-shoes. We can start by thinking before we speak (or type). (Click here to read “10 Ways to Spread Kindness.”) 

4. Patience. Yesterday in the grocery store parking lot, I saw a guy honk at the car in front of him because the driver didn’t immediately pull forward the second my foot left the crosswalk. Don’t be that guy. Take a breath, slow down, realize we’re all dealing with our own challenges and being impatient only makes us all more frustrated.

I know this is a frustrating, anxious, difficult time to be alive. Let’s try to make it better by giving these gifts to our loved ones—and everyone else—this holiday season.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

In the whirlwind that was November, I failed to mention a milestone: Catching Happiness’ 16^th anniversary! Sixteen years is an odd milestone to highlight, but last year’s 15^th anniversary came and went unnoticed because I was so completely immersed in both hurricane cleanup and moving/selling our house. 

During the past 16 years and 3,000+ posts, I’ve experienced and shared many highs and lows, simple pleasures and everyday adventures, and I’ve learned a ton about happiness in general, as well as what makes me personally happy. In my very first post, I wrote: “What I hope to do is add a little to the world’s store of positive things: information, beauty, entertainment… I’ll try to balance posts that will help you get to know me, with posts that (hopefully) help you learn something new, make you smile or say, ‘I didn’t know that.’”

Through all these years, my purpose has never changed, and I’m proud of the body of work stored on the pages of Catching Happiness.

So in no particular order, here are 16 things I’ve learned from studying and writing about happiness (click links to see posts I’ve written related to these lessons):

1. It’s OK to be happy…even if others aren’t. 

2. Sometimes happiness doesn’t “feel” happy. Sometimes you have to endure discomfort or make sacrifices for happiness in the future or to do what you believe is right. (See next lesson.)

3. Single-mindedly pursuing feeling happy isn’t the goal. That can actually make you unhappy. 

4. Despite number 3, there are things you can do to make it more likely you’ll be happy. You can set yourself up for a better chance at happiness. 

5. You can get better at happiness by practicing. 

6. Happiness is individual—what makes you happy might not make me happy, and vice versa.

7. You can simultaneously experience happiness and [insert negative emotion, such as grief, anger, and so on]. Two things can be true. 

8. The goal isn’t to avoid negative emotions at all costs, but to provide a foundation of happiness that supports you through hard times. 

9. Making others happy makes you happy. Making yourself happy makes others happy. 

10. We don’t have enough fun. 

11. Experiencing deep sadness can expand your capacity for happiness. 

12. The most important factor for happiness is cultivating good relationships. 

13. The term “happiness” encompasses a number of definitions and nuances. 

14. You don’t have to pursue extraordinary experiences to feel happy—much happiness comes from the simple and ordinary.

15. Sometimes, happiness is a choice. 

16. Happiness sometimes involves forgetting and letting go.

A lot has changed in my life since I started Catching Happiness, but I still love thinking and learning about ways to live a happier, more satisfying life—and sharing what I find with you. Big thanks to all of you who spend your precious time with me—I appreciate your comments more than you know! 

Photo by Jovan Vasiljević on Unsplash

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

—G.K. Chesterton

Done!

Earlier this week I was surprised to realize that Thanksgiving is next week. OH. That means we’re just a week (or so) away from November being over. Here’s what’s been happening, Chez Catching Happiness.

Bathroom reno

The bathroom renovation is done (see above)! All that remains are a few odds and ends like hanging towel bars and pictures, and choosing some new decorative pieces to complete the space. It’s so beautiful and tranquil and definitely worth the weeks of chaos. It makes me happy every time I go in there. 

Now I’m sorting through everything we pulled out of the bathroom while the reno was taking place, putting things away and getting rid of yet more stuff. How many ratty old towels does a person need? It feels great to get our bedroom and closet back to normal after using them to store all things bathroom-related while the work was going on.

Gratitude Challenge

I started the Gratitude Challenge with a bang, posting nearly every day…but then bathroom chaos moved into overdrive and I got sick with a cold, and posting daily felt like Too Much. I missed some great prompts, so as I get back on track, I hope to mix in a couple of my favorites that I missed. There are still nine days left in November to refocus on gratitude. 

(Not) filling the void

After nearly three months without Tank, I haven’t found anything to truly fill the void—which doesn’t surprise me. I’m still missing him, grieving for the loss of his companionship and the peace and joy I found at the barn with horses and horse people. I’ve been to the barn a couple of times, but of course it’s still more heartbreaking than happy at this point. I really do miss being around horses, though, even if they’re not mine, and I’m making plans to go back regularly and befriend a few new residents there. I didn’t stop loving horses with Tank’s loss, and I don’t want to squander the horse connections I still have. Plus, the barn owner is my friend, and she’s so busy I won’t ever see her if I don’t go to the barn! 

What’s been happening in your life in November?

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

“I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”—Brene Brown

Despite the current chaos in my life—or perhaps because of it?—I decided to join in Positively Present’s annual Gratitude Challenge again. I’ve participated in some fashion every year since 2014, but the past couple of years, my posting has been erratic. This year I want to post more consistently, and so far, I’ve posted a picture and short reflection on Instagram every day. 

After this many years of participating, it’s challenging to find a fresh way of talking about what I’m grateful for. It’s not that I’m not grateful…it just feels like I’ve been saying the same thing over and over, because the things I’m most deeply grateful for don’t change. I don’t want to sound like I’m just parroting what I’ve said before, so I’m trying to think more deeply about each prompt. Even when I fall short of my desired originality or depth of thought, I remember that the words aren’t the most important thing (a hard admission for a writer): the gratitude is. And I welcome the chance to actively focus on what I’m grateful for.

If you want to participate, click here to read Positively Present’s prompts. You don’t need to post your thoughts publicly to benefit, but it is fun to see what everyone else shares (if you do share on social media, use #gratitude30 and tag me so I won’t miss your posts! I’m @kathyjohn335 on IG). You can find my posts on Instagram, and I will run a round-up of my favorites here on Catching Happiness at the end of the month or the beginning of December. 

Until then, what are you grateful for this week?