Attention, Please
October 04, 2013
Have you ever driven somewhere and found once you arrived
you couldn’t remember how you got there? Lately, it seems like I feel that way
at the end of the day, too. I’ve arrived at evening, but I couldn’t tell you
how I got there. I know I’ve been busy all day, but I couldn’t tell you exactly
what it was I’d done. This is no way to live a life of simple pleasures and
everyday adventure.
Why am I so oblivious to my own life? Several reasons,
actually. Despite repeated efforts to stop
already, I still equate being busy
with being productive so I rush
around trying to pack more into every day. I also tend to live in my head,
mulling things over, projecting and obsessing, even while rushing around. And
there’s this: I resist being present because I find too much stimulation
overwhelming and if I paid attention to every thought and feeling, I’d have a
nervous breakdown.
So what am I doing instead of really being there? I’m:
- Thinking of the next thing I have to do, rather than the thing I’m doing.
- Daydreaming about how I wish things were.
- Worrying about the future.
Useful, right? I know I’m not the only one facing these
challenges. The good thing is that improving my level of attention to my own
life doesn’t require anything expensive or difficult. Just a few behavioral
tweaks to bring myself back to mindfulness, starting with scheduling fewer
to-dos (but making them of more importance to me), creating buffer zones of
time around each activity, and pausing several times a day, just for a moment
to take a deep breath and check in with my body and my mind. (Happify has an
exercise called the Body Scan Meditation that I’ve been actively avoiding—maybe
it’s time?) I’ve even started writing haiku several afternoons each week, focusing
each one to reflect the moment I’m in. (They’re pretty terrible, but reading
back through them I get a clear image of
where I was and what I was feeling when I wrote them.) None of these strategies is new (except maybe writing haiku)—I just have to do them instead of just talk about them.
I don’t know if it’s possible to stay 100 percent “in the
moment”—or even if I want to. (Daydreaming is fun and I enjoy it!) But I do
know I want to spend more time paying attention, not missing my life.
How do you pay attention to your life?
3 comments
Thank you for sharing so beautifully. I'm getting better about all this but it takes constant practice. What works for me is writing Daily Pages in a journal every morning (à la The Artist's Way), reviewing the previous day & planning for the current, noting the present. Some of the stuff is I'm sure could be considered mundane, but I've come to embrace it as part of my daily life.
ReplyDeletePS I'm going to try your Haiku idea, thank you!!
ReplyDeleteRita--You're right, it does take constant practice.
ReplyDeleteI do morning pages, too, most days. Helps to keep the trivia and the to-dos from completely overwhelming me!
Hope you enjoy writing the haiku--it's fun, and not too hard if you don't plan to show them to anyone! :)