Christmas

Already Overwhelmed by the Coming Holidays? Here Are 7 Ways to Find the Holiday Happy

November 17, 2017

Photo by +Simple on Unsplash

Can we postpone Thanksgiving? Maybe until sometime after the New Year?

It’s not that I don’t have plenty to be thankful for, I do—it’s just that I’m feeling overwhelmed. The last three months have been a blur and things don’t seem to be slowing down. Thanksgiving is next week, and then, oh then, here comes Christmas. (That’s right. I said the C word.)

I’m not ready.

This seems to be a theme with me around the holidays—feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I don’t think it’s just me, however. There are many reasons someone might not feel that happy about the upcoming holiday season. Perhaps you’re feeling sorrow over a death in the family, fighting an illness, or you’re overloaded with work or other responsibilities.

Since I don’t want to be the Bah Humbug of the holiday season, I sat down to ponder what I—and anyone else finding him or herself overwhelmed by the prospect of the upcoming holidays—could do to find some Holiday Happy.

Here’s what I came up with:

1. Work on your communication skills. Communicate what you need for yourself and what you need from others. If necessary, practice saying what you need to say so that you don’t explode or cry or go silent when you have the chance to speak up.

2. Ask for and—even more important—accept help. Gatherings are more fun for everyone when we all get to contribute. No one wants to see you become a shell of yourself because you spent the entire day cooking a fabulous meal and then it was all over in 10 minutes and WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCHES. No, no one wants to see that.

On a related note, cut back and outsource. Don’t try to do everything you’d normally do as well as all the holiday preparations. Pick up dinner at the grocery store, have the gifts professionally wrapped, hire a housecleaner just before your holiday party. See: “former shell of yourself,” above.

3. Don’t expect too much. We often raise our expectations about a number of things during the holidays. How our homes look, how much fancy cooking we do, even how we or others will behave. It’s OK to expect to have some special moments during this festive season. Just try not to expect everything to go perfectly. Don’t expect Uncle Elmo to suddenly become the warm fuzzy of the family when he’s more likely to be the Grinch, or that the cat won’t climb the Christmas tree and break at least one ornament. I speak from experience.

4. Take care of your health. Don’t skimp on sleep, vegetables, or exercise. A few late nights or an extra piece of pie will be much easier to recover from if you maintain your basic health habits. And I’m sorry, but pumpkin pie doesn’t count as a vegetable.

5. Choose one or two special holiday rituals and let the rest go. I know there are tempting experiences around every corner, but you’ll just make yourself crazy if you try to do them all.

6. Focus on what you want to celebrate. Being together? Gratitude? Your personal religious tradition? Your child’s (or grandchild’s) first holiday? The fact that it’s cool outside and you don’t have to run the AC on Thanksgiving Day this year? There is always something to celebrate and something to be grateful for.

7. Develop your sense of humor, and don’t take everything so seriously. It’s not the end of the world when the squirrels eat your holiday pumpkin display on the front porch, for example.



I’m going to try to follow my own advice, and make this a happy—not harried—holiday season. How about you?

What special holiday experiences do you look forward to every year?

Christmas

The First Ornament

December 16, 2015


Introduction by Ted Kooser: The first winter my wife and I lived in the country, I brought a wild juniper tree in from our pasture and prepared to decorate it for Christmas. As it began to warm up, it started to smell as if a coyote, in fact a number of coyotes, had stopped to mark it, and it was soon banished to the yard. Jeffrey Harrison, a poet who lives in Massachusetts, had a much better experience with nature.

Nest

It wasn’t until we got the Christmas tree
into the house and up on the stand
that our daughter discovered a small bird’s nest
tucked among its needled branches.

Amazing, that the nest had made it
all the way from Nova Scotia on a truck
mashed together with hundreds of other trees
without being dislodged or crushed.

And now it made the tree feel wilder,
a balsam fir growing in our living room,
as though at any moment a bird might flutter
through the house and return to the nest.

And yet, because we’d brought the tree indoors,
we’d turned the nest into the first ornament.
So we wound the tree with strings of lights,
draped it with strands of red beads,

and added the other ornaments, then dropped
two small brass bells into the nest, like eggs
containing music, and hung a painted goldfinch
from the branch above, as if to keep them warm.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2011 by Jeffrey Harrison, whose most recent book of poems is Incomplete Knowledge, Four Way Books, 2006. Reprinted from upstreet, No. 8, June 2012, by permission of Jeffrey Harrison and the publisher. Introduction copyright 2012 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Ada V. Hendricks

The Heart of the Holidays

December 24, 2014


May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;
The spirit of Christmas which is peace;
The heart of Christmas which is love.”
—Ada V. Hendricks

No matter which holiday you celebrate, I wish you a season of hope, peace and love!

Christmas

Link Love: Holiday Edition

December 13, 2013

I'm the only ornament this tree needs...

We don’t have as many holiday decorations up this year as usual, partly because I don’t have the energy or desire to decorate the house from top to bottom (I’m wearing shorts and sweating and that’s just not conducive to putting up holly and evergreens), and partly because Prudy thinks we put up the Christmas tree for her private and exclusive use. She treats it like a jungle gym, and climbs to the top daily (not unlike her sister)—and this is without ornaments and lights. So we won’t be displaying our fancy (breakable) ornaments this year or putting the tasseled runner on the mantel (I’m sure she’d pull it and everything else down on top of her). But it’s all good. We’re expecting a cold front, Nick will be home for winter break, and I’m planning a little personal stay-cation from the usual routine after Christmas.

I hope your holiday preparations are running smoothly, and that the weather, whatever it’s doing where you live, isn’t keeping you from enjoying the season. Here is a special holiday edition of Link Love for you to enjoy in between all your activities:

Artist Susan Branch offers free downloadable holiday desktop wallpaper, stationery and other fun stuff (I especially love the bookmarks) here.

Christmas movies can be more than just happy little distractions—many of them, even the cheesiest ones, remind us of lessons worth remembering. Dani at Positively Present reveals some of her favorite movies and their accompanying lessons here.

For the book lovers among us, Belle has some ideas for end-of-the-year book “housekeeping.” 

What are your favorite Christmas traditions? This post lists 50 (!) Christmas traditions for a merry little Christmas. Some of my favorites from this list are listening to Christmas music,  turning out the lights to admire the Christmas tree (well, usually—see above), and making cookies (though I make molasses sugar cookies instead of plain ones).

A very cool thing an airline did for its passengers:


And last but not least, some tips for relieving holiday stress. No matter how hard we try to simplify, it always seems like we need these.
Ho, ho, ho

Christmas

10 Things That Make My Holidays Happy

December 10, 2012


Last year (I can admit it now) I was rather Scrooge-like in my participation in holiday events. I just did NOT enjoy the Christmas season, though I did try hard not to show that and spoil everyone else’s fun. I don’t want a repeat this year, so I’m putting some thought into what I really enjoy about the holidays, what I don’t enjoy (and am not going to do) and what makes me feel festive.

Here are 10 things, in no particular order, that I like to do that say “happy holiday season” to me:

Watch A Christmas Story. I can’t tell you why, but this is my all-time favorite Christmas movie, and I have to watch it at least once. I especially like to watch it while wrapping gifts.

Make molasses sugar cookies—for us and for special friends.


Put up a tree. I say this, because the year we went to New York for Christmas, we didn’t put the tree up and I missed having it all through the month of December.

Christmas in New York 
Decorate the house. We live in Florida, but I still decorate like we live in a log cabin somewhere in the forest. Palm trees and sea shells don’t say “Christmas” the way fir and holly do.

Listen to Christmas music and, usually, buy one new Christmas CD for the collection. This year, I’m leaning towards Straight No Chaser’s Holiday Spirits. (What’s your favorite holiday CD?)

Spend a night or two with the TV off, the fireplace burning (weather permitting—this is Florida, after all), the candles lighted, and Christmas music playing. I find this so relaxing—an antidote to any holiday craziness that creeps in.

Put antlers on the dog and a Santa hat on the horse. Because I just have to.

Give thoughtful gifts. I truly enjoy trying to find the most creative and perfect-for-them gifts for my family and friends. We also try to give something to a local charitable organization for families in need.

Have one big family get-together, usually on Christmas day, where all the relatives who live locally come to our house to feast and make merry.

Last year my husband made Beef Wellington!
Watch the Rose Parade on TV on New Year’s Day. I lived in Pasadena, and both attended and worked at the Rose Parade several times. It makes me a little homesick, even though I haven’t lived in California for more than 20 years. The floats and the horses and the marching bands thrill me every time.

Simple holiday pleasures look different for every person, and these are mine. I’m always on the lookout for new ones though, so what makes the holidays happy for you?

Christmas

A Heart Full of Christmas

December 24, 2011


“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
—Roy L. Smith

Wishing you a heart full of Christmas joy!

Christmas

Christmas in New York

December 12, 2011


When considering writing about holiday traditions, I found myself thinking about my family sitting at the dinner table wearing the crowns from Christmas crackers, or the year the cat knocked over the Christmas tree (not coincidentally the last year we had a live tree). You can see what kind of holidays we have at our house. But what I found myself wanting to write about was the year we broke with tradition: the year we spent the days between Christmas and New Year’s exploring New York City.

Let me back up. It all started when we (my husband, son and mother-in-law) were discussing plans for celebrating Christmas in 2007. Out of the blue, Mom suggested renting an apartment in New York City. That captured our imaginations, because we’d always wanted to spend some time there. It didn’t take us long to search the vacation rentals on Craigslist for possibilities. We finally hit upon one that sounded suitable: “Sunny Apartment Old World Charm (Upper West Side)” and negotiated a price we could afford.

Memorial for John Lennon in Central Park
We flew to New York on Christmas day—practical, if a bit unromantic. We had no trouble reaching our apartment via cab ride. The 1929 building stood just a few blocks from the Dakota, where John Lennon was killed, and from Central Park. After settling in, we decided to see if we could find somewhere to eat dinner. Francesco, an Italian/pizza restaurant just down the street sounded good to us. Our “Christmas dinner” was pizza, pasta fagiole soup, shrimp scampi and chicken wings! Delicious, if untraditional.

Top of the Rock
We spent the next few days crisscrossing Manhattan, taking the subway and walking to the places we wished to visit. Our son seemed determined to sample a hot dog from every vendor in town. While it was cold to us Floridians, there was no snow to contend with. We packed a lot into our trip: a visit to ground zero at the World Trade Center, Times Square and lunch at Sardi’s, visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the American Museum of Natural History. We rode the Staten Island Ferry at night for a stunning view of the lighted New York skyline, sandwiched ourselves into the crowds at FAO Schwartz toy store, rode the elevator to “Top of the Rock,” the 67th floor observatory deck at Rockefeller Center. One of my favorite stops was the New York Public Library, where the stone lions, whose names are Patience and Fortitude, wore festive Christmas wreaths. Inside, we marveled at the painted ceilings and elaborate mechanized system the staff uses to procure books for library patrons.

Patience...or is it Fortitude?
That year, we traded sitting in front of the fireplace opening gifts for riding the subway to the southern tip of Manhattan; a decorated tree at home for the decorated tree at Rockefeller Center; turkey and ham for pizza and pasta. We still talk about the year we went to New York for Christmas. We built many happy family memories as we walked up and down the city streets. Most years, I wouldn’t want to trade the comforts of being home for the holidays, but Christmas in New York? For that, I’d make an exception.

What are your favorite holiday traditions? Are there any new traditions you’d like to start this year?