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| Photo courtesy Balazs Szoke |
Do you remember playing the game “Red Light, Green Light”
when you were a child? One person is the stop light and the rest of the kids
line up on the other side of the yard. When the stop light says, “green light”
and turns her back, the other players advance toward her. When she turns back
around and says, “red light,” anyone caught still moving is out. The stop light
repeats this until either someone touches her or all the other kids are out.
It would be nice to have such clear signals in grown-up
life, wouldn’t it? Someone or something to tell us “green light”—go forward, or
“red light”—stop. Other than literal traffic signals, life is seldom that
explicit. Occasionally, our desires and responsibilities neatly align, and we
see a clear road ahead. More often, we must develop not only our own internal signaling
system of red light, green light, but also a functioning “yellow light”—“use
caution”—when making decisions. I want to talk about the importance of that
yellow light.
When a decision looms or an exciting opportunity presents
itself, yellow lights can keep us from rushing ahead too fast without thinking.
Perhaps we’ve decided to focus on a specific goal, or we’ve committed to
simplifying life and reducing our activities. After consideration, we may
choose to stop instead of go forward. On the other hand, a yellow light might
also keep us from automatically saying no when that opportunity arises. Some of
us, myself included, can be too cautious—braking when we should step on the
gas. Pausing at a mental yellow light, instead of slamming on the brakes, can
open our cautious minds just a crack to let in new possibilities. Yellow lights
keep us from saying yes or no automatically.
Just as when we approach a yellow light while driving, we
must make a decision to stop or go forward. We can’t pause there indefinitely.
Our internal yellow lights should be just like that: pauses while we make our
decisions, not excuses not to make
those decisions.
So how do we develop a healthy internal signaling system?
Basically, by asking questions and paying attention to the answers. What will
be the consequences of going forward or not going forward? Is this the right
thing to do? The right time to do it? What are our bodies telling us (“gut
feelings” are called that for a reason) while we consider our options? The more
we listen, the more we can trust ourselves.
I believe we’ll live happier lives if we live more
intentional ones. Becoming more aware of our inner green, red and yellow lights
is one way to do that.
How does your intuition speak to you? Do you follow your own
inner signals?
