Photo by Sophia Kunkel on Unsplash

In 2013 when I adopted Prudy, it had been a few years since I’d had a cat, so before I went to the shelter, I spent hours researching food, toys, and even cat litter. I crossed the line between responsible pet owner and obsessive nutcase. I’ve done a similar thing with other decisions, including which cover to get for my cell phone, where to stay for a beach weekend, and [insert anything involving my horse].

Wanting to make good choices is a worthy goal, but did you know how we go about it can make a difference in our level of happiness? 

In our quest for a happy life, we might assume that one way to ensure happiness is to make each one of our decisions the absolute best one we can make.

We would be wrong.

Happy people, according to Daniel J. Levitin in The Organized Mind, engage in satisficing, even if they’re not aware that they’re doing it. 

What is satisficing?

“Satisficing” comes from combining the words “satisfying” and “sufficing.” The term was originally created by Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert A. Simon in 1956. 

I first heard the term “satisficer” while reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog. Satisficers, according to Rubin are “those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied,” she wrote. 

The alternative to being a satisficer is being a maximizer. According to Rubin, “Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.” Maximizers tend to be more anxious about their choices, fearing that they’ve made a mistake. Most people use both types of decision making, but they may have a primary tendency toward one or the other.

Of course, some decisions are more important than others, and it’s prudent to take more time and care in those areas. It makes sense that the more important a decision it is, the more effort and thought put into it. It’s the lesser choices that unnecessarily eat up our time and energy. We can burn ourselves out making every mole hill a mountain. 

Loosening my grip on perfectionism

The older I get, the more I lean into satisficing. Mostly, I just don’t have the time to nitpick every decision, going on deep research dives to choose the “absolute best” whatsit/course of action/hotel/pet food. Satisficing has helped me realize there’s not one perfect way to do anything. You can be a person of excellence without choosing perfectly, every time. And who decides what perfect is anyway?

Satisficing is one more way I’m fighting perfectionist tendencies and embracing ease. I feel less stress when I don’t have to make the “perfect” choice, and I free up a lot of time I might have previously spent overthinking. I love a research rabbit hole as much as anyone, but sometimes I’ve just got to stop.

How to satisfice

So how did this self-identified, semi-obsessive maximizer change her ways? Here are some tips I try to follow when a decision needs to be made:

Limit the time I spend or number of sources I choose for decision research.

If I have time, I make the choice, but sleep on it before implementing it.

Simply choose fewer things. How many whatsits do I really need?

Don’t waste time looking at options I can’t have. Often, I can’t afford the “absolute best” of whatever it is I want or need. We’re gathering info on remodeling the kitchen of our new home, and I already know not to look at certain features because they’re simply beyond what we’re willing to spend.

Realize in six months I’ll have forgotten about all the other options.

If it turns out the decision isn’t optimal, I can almost always choose again. Yes, there may be frustrations or problems, but frankly, that’s just life.

I can feel the difference when I start to veer from satisficing to maximizing—and it doesn’t feel great. I’m definitely happier exploring and savoring simple pleasures and everyday adventures than I am mulling over which sheets to buy for the new guest bed.    

Are you a satisficer or a maximizer? What are some of your decision-making tips?

Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay

By now, many of the people I follow online have shared their lists of goals and expectations for 2025. I’ve been too involved in unpacking, decision-making, and continuing home improvement projects at both our old home and our new one to spend much time contemplating goals and plans for a new year. Truth be told, in the past, I’ve not been very successful at following through on goals intended to be accomplished over the course of a year. This form of goal setting doesn’t work for me.

I still have goals I would like to see accomplished by the end of this year, but I’ve got to find a more effective way to set and break them down. The first approach I’m going to try is to set goals by quarter. This method can take into account seasonal energy shifts, what outside events are taking place in my life, and if something isn’t going well after three months, I can regroup and reevaluate. I’m still figuring this out, but if I make any breakthroughs, I’ll be sure to share them!

What about word of the year?

It’s been my practice for years to choose a word of the year as a sort of theme/guide/stated wish for the year. Some years a word leaps out at me (as in 2018 and 2019). This year, I had to work to find a word that resonated.    

It’s likely that this year’s word was harder to pin down because I have two forces fighting inside me: “Come on, Woman, let’s set new, ambitious goals; let’s be more productive and GET THINGS DONE; c’mon, c’mon, let’s go…”

And

“OK, Sweetheart, it’s been a rough couple of years, let’s take some time to heal and regroup. You’re tired. Why not take care of yourself? You need more down time, not a longer to-do list.”

It took me a few days of test-driving possibilities, but I found a word I think will help with both parts of my inner monologue: Ease.

This word can be both noun and verb. As a noun, ease is the state of being comfortable or relaxed, free of worry or pain. The verb means to free something that pains, disquiets, or burdens; to lessen the pressure or tension; to maneuver gently or carefully to make less difficult.

That sounds perfect.

It is my desire to be comfortable, relaxed and free of worry. It is also my desire to maneuver gently and carefully to make life less difficult.

The last couple of years have worn me down physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve spent more time reacting than acting, my time primarily taken up by activities I didn’t ask for or want. There are some areas of my life that still need some tender care to replenish, but I also have more time to use productively in support of outward-facing goals.

Notice the word is ease, not easy. I’m not asking for easy (though easier wouldn’t come amiss). In my mind, ease means a change of attitude and how I approach things. Instead of forcing, rushing, and overscheduling, I will have an attitude of easing them along. I won’t make things harder than they need to be by my own ways of thinking and being. I can see myself turning to ease when I start to feel upset about something—how can I incorporate ease into this situation?

So that’s how far I’ve gotten in planning for the year 2025. I’m easing into it!

Have you set goals for 2025 or chosen a word of the year? What are you looking forward to? Please share in the comments!