Anxiety

Encouraging Words for Unhappy Times

October 12, 2020



I’ve been in a very dark place recently. Even though I avoid click bait and the most outrageous headlines, it’s impossible not to see how much suffering and hardship people are experiencing right now. I’ve been going about my day-to-day life feeling like an elephant is sitting on my head.

In times like these, when I finally pull myself off the floor and hunt for ways to feel better, I often turn to the written word. I have books with tape flags, a stack of 3 x 5 cards inscribed with favorite quotes, and if that’s not enough, I also have the search engines of Internet at my fingertips. Last week, I turned to them all.

Here are a few encouraging words/thoughts/mantras that have been helping me hold on, followed by a few of my own thoughts. I hope you find them encouraging, too. Please feel free to forward and share these with others if you feel they could help.


“If there is a solution to the problem, there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense worrying, either.” The Dalai Lama

I’m prone to worry even in the best of times. These words remind me that worrying is a useless exercise. It doesn’t—cannot—solve any problem and only serves to exhaust me mentally and emotionally.


“Remember that things can change for the better.” Action for Happiness Optimistic October 2020 calendar

Huh. Sometimes change is for the better. Sometimes I forget that.

 

“The world is broken. It was broken long before I arrived and will continue to be so long after I’m gone. The only thing I can do is control how bright my own light shines.” A friend

One bad day, I was sharing how emotionally overwhelmed and sad I was feeling with a close friend. These words of her response stood out for me and comforted me. I’m not in charge of the world (thank goodness) but I am in charge of myself.


“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Marcus Aurelius

So true. It’s not the thing happening causing me pain, it’s my response. Too often my response is worry/anxiety/negativity.


“We tend to look for the whys when bad things happen—why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? But if we can reframe it, we can take back the power—How can I make this better? How is this making me stronger? The answers don’t come immediately, but they will come when you’re ready to hear them.” Susannah Conway

OK, maybe I’m ready to hear them?

Two quotes from Pema Chodron:

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing.  We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved.  They come together and they fall apart.  Then they come together again and fall apart again.  It’s just like that.  The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:  room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

Things are certainly falling apart right now. I will try to allow all this to happen, and to remember to leave room for joy also.


“Times are difficult globally; awakening is no longer a luxury or an ideal.  It’s becoming critical.  We don’t need to add more depression, more discouragement, or more anger to what’s already here.  It’s becoming essential that we learn how to relate sanely with difficult times.  The earth seems to be beseeching us to connect with joy and discover our innermost essence. This is the best way that we can benefit others.” 

My new goal: “relate sanely with difficult times.”


And lastly, a wish I saw recently on a bumper sticker:

“I hope something good happens to you today.”

I really DO hope something good happens for you today.


What are some encouraging words that are helping you?

 

 

Awards

You Said It

January 21, 2013

Do you know how much I love reading comments? Whenever I put up a blog post, I eagerly wait to see what you have to say in response. I read every comment and try to respond to each one. It means a great deal to me when you say something nice about the post, of course, but I also love to hear your thoughts on the topic of the day. In return, I try to visit as many blogs as possible and leave my own comments—even if it’s just a sentence or two so the blogger knows someone has read and understood her (99% of the time it’s a her) words. We all like to be seen and acknowledged, don’t we?

For several months, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a post quoting you, my wise and witty readers—and today’s the day. Since I’ve been blogging these past three years, you’ve followed my ups and downs and chipped in with your advice and encouragement. Below you’ll find just a few of the comments that have made a difference to me in the last three years, in no particular order. Comments have been edited for length, but not changed in meaning.

From “What is This Feeling?”:

Sara: “A friend once told me to buy 5 x 7 cards and whenever you have ‘light’ moment or one that's happy and totally present, you write it down and keep them in one of those albums you can buy at a pharmacy for pictures.

Whenever you're feeling a loss of light, you look through it and remember the times when the ‘light’ was there.” 

From “Happiness Busters”:

Laure: “Some of my happiness busters are being overly tired, too much ‘news’ that I can't do anything about, and some of the ones you mention.

The words to one of the Eagles' songs, Already Gone, keep running through my mind,
‘...so oftentimes it happens we live our life in chains/That we never even know we have the key.....’

How often do we hold ourselves down, back, under, less than, not good enough, not enough and so on, when really…we are more than enough and far more? We just don't understand we are the key.”

From “Puzzled”:

Laure: “To my way of thinking there are seeds of bad in all good things that happen and seeds of good in all bad things that happen…it is up to us which we cultivate.”

Elizabeth: “I agree with Laure—there are seeds of both in every experience…and with Kathy and the story of the farmer—time will tell which is good or bad.

It seems to me that it is nearly always up to ME in how I choose to see an event. Sometimes stepping back to observe the big picture is all I need to adjust my thinking.”

From “The Importance of Mistakes”:

Kathy M: “The older that I get, the less hard I am on myself and on others. I wish that I had done many things different, but, look, it has all turned out fine in spite of myself.

Long ago I heard that regret in a way insults the person that I was long ago, before I knew better. Life is a journey, and perhaps when we are better at forgiving ourselves we become better at forgiving others.”

From “RX for Troubled Times”:

Timaree: “Sometimes we get frozen in the litany of things happening all around of which we have little say. Mother Teresa used to tell people when they asked what they could do, to love and take care of their families. That's our first and most important job and when that is taken care of, we can branch out. Like you, I would love to see a world of people being kind to one another. It has to start somewhere and if taking care of ourselves gets us going then let's do it. I read on another post today about a smile that led to one thing and then another and another. That's something we should all be able to do—give a smile. They can be contagious as a yawn.”

And though I didn’t include quotes from you in this list, I deeply appreciate the continued friendship and input of Claire, Cheryl, and Danielle. (And I miss you, Meredith!) I thank you for all your encouraging, wise, funny and delightful comments. And because you all have made such a difference to me, I pass on the “Wonderful Team Member Award” to each one of you. (Thank you to Kathy of Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy who passed this on to me.) I know some bloggers aren’t big on awards, but I liked this one because it honors the thoughtfulness of blog readers. Feel free to accept and pass on if you wish. If otherwise, just know that I (and all bloggers) appreciate your taking the time to comment on our work.

If you choose to participate, the rules are as follows:
  1. Thank the nominator and link back to their site (Thanks, Kathy—see above).
  2. Display the award (see below).
  3. Nominate no more than 14 readers of your blog you appreciate and leave a comment on their blogs to let them know about the award.
  4. Finish this sentence: A great reader is…Someone who reads in a spirit of curiosity and openness, takes what she can from what she reads and lets the rest go.