Most recent completed puzzle

I just finished another jigsaw puzzle. It took me a couple of weeks of relaxed attention, and while there were moments when I had to work a little harder to proceed, finishing it was easy. I never had to schedule time or give myself a pep talk. I naturally gravitated to it, and spent time working on it most days, enough that I was able to finish it relatively quickly.

If I have time to do a jigsaw puzzle, why don’t I “have time” to do other things I say I want to do, like return to sketching/art journaling or watching the dog training videos of my course so I can work with Luna?

Why are some things so easy to do while I struggle with others? Clearly, time is not the issue. How “hard” something feels is—how much mental energy I have to summon to Do the Thing.

During this year of building a life I want, I’m going to explore a few of what I’m calling “building blocks.” In this post, I’m going to talk about “making it easier.”

When we try something new or we want to establish a new habit, we need to make it as easy as possible. Don’t set up roadblocks for ourselves when we could make our way clear. We don’t put obstacles in the way of babies learning to walk, do we? Maybe we should treat ourselves like babies! 

As Gretchen Rubin says in “The 21 Strategies for Habit Formation”: “To a truly remarkable extent, we’re more likely to do something if it’s convenient, and less likely if it’s not. The amount of effort, time, or decision-making required by an action has a huge influence on our habits. Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong.” 

My puzzle was easy to do not just because it was fun, but because it was visible and readily available each time I had a few spare moments to do it. I didn’t have to find it, or unpack it, or anything like that.

I started thinking about different ways I can make it easier to spend time doing the things I want to do, without falling into the default of flopping on the couch or scrolling on my phone. My goal is to, as Leo Babauta writes, “Make it so easy you can’t say no.” 

Here are a few ideas for making it easier I’m experimenting with:  

Create a kit. A kit is a collection of items you need to accomplish a certain task. One kit I use all the time is a tote to carry the tools I need to groom Tank. It contains a hoof pick, curry comb, brushes, and other basic items I’m likely to need every time I groom him. I’m going to make an art journaling kit with some of my art supplies so that I’m not faced with the entirety of my (unorganized) stash every time I feel like playing in my journal. That’s just too overwhelming. Sitting down with a limited number of curated supplies is a lot easier.

Stack the habit. Just as I get dressed after I take a shower, I can piggyback a new activity on top of an established one: “After I do X, I do Y.” An idea here could be, “After I eat lunch, I watch a dog training course video.” I usually check email after lunch, but I could easily slip the dog training video in between eating and email. The videos are short, and won’t take much time away from the activities I have planned in the afternoon.

Use a timer. If there’s something I want to do but I’m feeling resistant to, setting a timer for a short amount of time often gets me through that roadblock: 15 minutes of decluttering and I can stop; do my weight training routine for 30 minutes and I’m done. There’s something about knowing we have a finite, and often short, period of time to do an activity that makes it easier to get started. And getting started is often the hardest part. 

Pair with pleasure. If there’s something I don’t want to do, or I find hard to do, I pair it with a simple pleasure. A delicious cup of something to drink, music or an inspiring podcast, sitting by a sunny window. Sometimes that little bit of pleasure is enough to convince me to start.

These are just a few ways to make establishing a new habit or adding a new activity to your schedule easier, and making it easier is just the first of my building blocks for building a satisfying life. More to come!

What’s your favorite way to make it easier? If you have more strategies, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below, or email me at kathyjohn335[at]gmail[dot]com.

Photo by Isabela Kronemberger on Unsplash

The year is halfway done. How’s it going so far?

Overall, 2024 is a much better year for me than 2023. (It could hardly be worse…and that is NOT a challenge to the Universe.) But I do still feel like I’m finding my feet again. Aside from healing from grief, I’m also figuring out what to do next with my time since my caregiving duties are done. I’d let my freelancing work slide because of the uncertainty around Carol’s condition, and now that I have control of my time back, I honestly don’t know if I want to go back to how I was working before. I also don’t know what else I would do! It’s a problem I’m still mulling over.

So 2024 is sort of a rebuilding year. Part healing, part restoration, part figuring out what I want for the future, regarding my purpose and how I contribute to our family through unpaid labor and income. I chose a word of the year (build) that I thought would help guide my life back into a shape I could love. And I set a few goals that I thought would get me back into the habit of accomplishment, not just survival.

In February, I did a quick goal check-in here on Catching Happiness, mentioning my three top goals for the year:

Write a draft of a book I’ve been thinking about for years.

Declutter (to some extent) my whole house.

Complete an online dog training course and train my dog, Luna.

How am I doing?

Succeeding and…

The only goal I’m making consistent progress with is decluttering my house. In fact, I’m almost done! I have just two rooms and my storage area in the garage left, and I also need to spend some time revisiting areas that have “magically” become cluttered again. I should be able to finish by September at the latest, giving myself extra time because of the energy-drain I always feel in summertime.

Failing better?

The other two goals? Though I haven’t done as much as I wanted to, I have done some, and I haven’t given up. I’ve continued trying, even though it’s in fits and starts. Maybe I’m failing better?

Book writing and dog training, are both new-to-me activities. I’m bad at them. I’m uncomfortable doing them. I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable as I give myself time to get better. Both the dog training and book writing goals need and deserve deliberately scheduled time, and I haven’t been good at this. I frequently let the time I have available dribble away on other pursuits. Even when I write these goals as to-dos in my daily planner, I still blow them off all too often. I am not giving up, though. I’ll keep trying different strategies at least until the end of 2024.

The good news is…I can keep working on these goals, and I have six more months of 2024 to achieve them!

Beyond the goals list

When we evaluate the first half of our year, we should remember to look at more than just how we’re doing on our stated goals. How are we doing physically, mentally, emotionally? Are we having fun? How are our relationships faring? What unexpected events have challenged us? A happy life is more than just a series of goals checked off a list, though setting and achieving goals is one aspect of a well-rounded life.

When I reflect on the first six months of 2024, I realize that my emotions have mostly leveled out and I’m not falling prey to as many down days as I was at the beginning of the year. The emotional turmoil has settled down. Tank is doing great. I’m getting together with friends, reading good books, planning a weekend at the beach with my husband. I feel energy returning, and I find myself feeling grateful more often without having to force myself to look for the good.

And on we go into the second half of 2024!

What has 2024 held for you so far? We’d love to hear about your accomplishments, challenges, dreams—and anything else you’d like to share—in the comments section below!

More on the mid-year check-in:

Mid-Year Goal Planner Check-In: Goal Setting Mindmaps, Resets, And More! 

Best Laid Plans podcast: Happy Mid Year!

*Title stolen from Sarah Hart-Unger’s July newsletter! 

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

“The way we think about growth often has us laser-focused on the end goal. Yes, we might be aware of the steps that it takes to get what we want, but we think about grinding our way through them in lieu of a process we actually enjoy. When you think about your goals, take into consideration not only the objective itself but the journey of reaching it. Ask yourself: Will I like the ways that I’ll change along this path? Do I like the process of learning, of supporting others, of working with new people? Reflection can help you get clear on why you’re prioritizing certain goals and if they’re really representative of the life you want for yourself.”

—Isabelle Eyman, “We Can’t Be Productive Every Day—So Why Do We Continue to Glorify It?”

My decluttered office bookshelves

After a year in which I had little control over my time and even less over my emotions, I’m planning to make 2024 a year for restoring and building. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I’d like to see happen in 2024, personally and professionally. Today’s post is a check-in to see how things are going.

I thought it might be useful to talk about my goals on Catching Happiness throughout the year—it’ll keep me accountable, and maybe it will be helpful to you to see how I (try to) break larger goals down into smaller steps. I’ll share progress, missteps, and sources of inspiration. If there’s something you’d like to me to write more about, please feel free to comment below, or contact me directly at kathyjohn335 [at] gmail [dot] com. 

Goals and happiness

In January’s edition of the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter, I revealed three of my major goals for 2024 and wrote the following paragraph:

“What do goals have to do with happiness? Having goals to work toward, something to look forward to, contributes to hope, optimism, and, yes, happiness. According to Action for Happiness, ‘Direction’ is one of the 10 Keys to Happier Living.  Goals which are good for happiness are those we choose for ourselves, rather than things we think we ‘should’ do; they’re things we want to move towards rather than things we want to stop doing; they’re personally meaningful for us and reflect our interests and values; and we have control over how we work towards them.” 

(If you don’t get the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter but would like to, click here. Happy Little Thoughts comes out on the last Wednesday of each month, and I don’t share or sell your email address.) 

While I have additional goals that I may discuss later, the three I shared in the newsletter are:

• Write a draft of a book I’ve been thinking about for years.
• Declutter (to some extent) my whole house.
• Complete an online dog training course and train my dog, Luna (hopefully won’t take the entire year to do this one).

How did I do in January?

Welllll, results were mixed. January was a FULL month: we hosted guests from out of town twice (family last weekend, my friend Kerri for the first week of the month) and I dealt with a few miscellaneous life maintenance things like dental appointments and household repairs. Tank was seriously sick and between worry, hospital visits, and trips to the barn to shoot medicine down his throat (you can guess how happy that made him) I didn’t have much bandwidth for anything except getting through the day. Here’s how things went:

Goal 1: In January, I wanted to go over what I already had written and organize my materials, as well as start regular writing sessions three times each week. I knew it would be a busy month, so I wasn’t ambitious. I did collect my materials, briefly look them over, and I managed one writing session total. Not a great start, but considering my stress and busy-ness levels in January, I’m not too surprised or disappointed.  

Goal 2: For my whole-house declutter, I’m working on two rooms each month, pairing a simple one with a more challenging one. In January, I worked on my home office and our guest bathroom. I’m basically finished with both—though my office (the challenging room) still has a couple of minor things that need to be taken care of. It looks so much better and is now a place where I want to spend time working again.

Goal 3: I’ve purchased an online dog training course (SpiritDog, no affiliation) after trying out some of their free offerings, but all I managed to do in January was read a couple of emails and watch a couple of short videos. 

What’s next in February and beyond?

I don’t think February will be as busy a month, but it is a shorter month so I’m still being conservative with my expectations. I want to build consistency and momentum.

These are my plans for February:

Goal 1: I’m considering investing in a couple of online book writing courses, and I’ll decide whether or not either of them is appropriate. I’ve blocked out time for writing and research sessions. I’m planning to experiment with writing in different locations, both to reduce distractions (Laundry! Dishes! Luna wants attention!) and to make writing more fun.

Goal 2: I’ve got my next two rooms picked out: my kitchen and dining room. In January, my habit was to set a timer and declutter for at least 15 minutes a day. That worked well, so I’m going to repeat that process.

Goal 3: I’ll schedule time for reading/watching the dog training course, and short sessions of training with Luna several days a week.

I’m still kind of feeling my way. Each month, I want to review my progress and make any necessary adjustments, but I probably won’t do an update like this on the blog every month. Maybe quarterly? The idea of having to publicly report my progress or lack thereof is pretty motivating! (And a little scary!)

I want to be a person with a mannerly dog, in a decluttered house, who has written a book. These goals will all take time, consistency, and the building of habits. It’s only February, and I’m still filled with optimism. We shall see what the rest of the year has in store.

If you’d like to share your own goals in comments below, I’d love to hear them!

Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

Happy belated New Year! I’m mostly back from my extended break after a productive, in-depth review of 2023.

As I wrote in December’s Happy Little Thoughts, I did not accomplish many personal or professional goals in 2023. I spent most of the year navigating grief and the practical and administrative matters related to two deaths, and it was all I could do to keep my own life somewhat functional. When I wasn’t doing those things, I was mentally and emotionally recovering from doing them.

But now things are starting to settle down*. Starting a new year feels like starting fresh.

Choosing a word of the year

As usual, I have been pondering the choice of a word of the year. I would like 2024 to be, as professional sports teams call it, “a rebuilding year.” Now that I’m no longer responsible for caring for my mother-in-law, I can begin to think again of what I want to accomplish.

I toyed with the idea of rebuild as a word of the year, but it didn’t feel quite right. My circumstances have changed. My dreams have changed. My tolerance levels for some things have changed. I’m staring down a milestone birthday. Instead of rebuilding what I had before, as great as it was, I want to build a life I love, one that makes me happy to wake up in the morning, on the foundation of my old life. If that makes sense.

Here’s the quote, from Jamie Varon, that inspired me to choose build as my word of the year:

“Imagine the woman you want to be. Think of what her daily life, her habits, and routines would be. Start showing up to those habits and routines, start building them, step by step, and day by day. You don’t become her like magic. You build her. Start building.”

Words of support

Knowing that I am still somewhat shaky emotionally (especially considering what’s been going on with Tank—see * below), I’m choosing a couple of “background” words to support build: restore, gentle. At least right now, I’m not up for any major disruptive changes. I am up for building small habits, little by little, gently, while allowing time for restoration.  

After I wrote down some big goals I want to achieve in 2024, I broke them down into smaller goals, sometimes into something I can achieve in a month. Some of these subgoals are process goals, like “work on [insert project here] 15 minutes 3 times a week.” January has been kind of a trial run, as I figure out how to build the habits I want.

Some fun supportive practices

Thinking about choosing your own word of the year? That’s only the first step. While you can leave it to chance, if you want to make the most of the practice of choosing a word of the year, it helps to keep that word uppermost in your mind. Here are a few supportive practices I’ve heard about and might try this year: 

• Keep a notebook to record ways your word of the year has shown up in your life
• Create a Pinterest board for your word of the year
• Create a vision board focusing on your word of the year
• Put your word of the year on sticky notes and post them in strategic places.

What feels different?

I feel a certain determination I haven’t felt before. A few of my goals have migrated from year to year without my making any real headway on them and I want that to stop. I feel more likely to look for solutions and work arounds when I hit a roadblock, rather than giving up at the first significant obstacle. One lesson I learned from losing my mom and mother-in-law is that you don’t have all the time in the world. If you want to do it, do it. Do not keep putting off things that are important to you. Build the life you want now.

Do you choose a word of the year? If you’d like to share, please do in the comments below!

Read about past words of the year here, here, and here.

*Last week, my horse, Tank, developed some kind of serious mystery ailment and for the past week I’ve been alternating between hope and despair. As I write this post, he is doing better and I’m cautiously optimistic that he’ll pull through. He’s due to come home from the vet hospital tomorrow.

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

How have the first two weeks of the new year been treating you?

I’m finally taking a breath after a whirlwind last couple of weeks of 2021, another year I’m not sorry to put behind me. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks recovering (I’m so tired…you?) and regrouping. (Read: digging out my office which has become, once again, a Pit of Despair.)

The beginning of a new year is a natural place to think about goals and changes you want to make. But this year, instead of planning a whole year’s worth of goals, or diving head first into the deep end, I’m taking a gentler approach overall. For example:

Word of the year

Remember my word of the year (WOTY), dare, from last year? Probably not, because after that first optimistic post, I don’t think I revisited it on the blog even once. And not much more often in private. Too many varied and disrupting events took place in 2021, and dare just didn’t fit well with how the year played out. In this instance, choosing a word of the year was kind of like when health experts try to match the annual flu vaccine with the flu strains expected to be circulating…and fail!

In retrospect, a better WOTY for 2021 would have been “survive.”

So anyway, as 2021 wound down, a word kept reappearing in my consciousness, and as I usually do when that happens, I’ve taken it as my WOTY for 2022:

Simpler.

Not shiny or glamorous, but fitting, in that the past two years have made me hunker down and reevaluate my life in unexpected ways. I’m looking forward to seeing how simpler influences how the year unfolds. Two things that come to mind immediately are the way I cook (my menu planning and cooking need a revamp that makes them simpler) and what I concentrate on in my writing. I’ve been chasing too many different types of writing projects and I’ve managed both to lose the joy of writing as well as dilute my focus and skill level. I’m sure more will come to my attention as the year goes on.

(Two of my online friends have also chosen words of the year. Read their posts here and here.)

Goal setting/yearly planning

I’m very good at complicating things, overscheduling, and being wound too tightly. Rushing, rushing, rushing. Fitting more in when I should take more time to do fewer things. (Another way in which simpler may help.)

I came across this sentence in something I read (forgive me, I can’t remember where I found it), and this sums up what I want for 2022:

“I want a year of ease and serendipity and settling into the spaces of my life in a way that feels organic instead of molded to fit arbitrary goals I set for myself.”

I’m slowing way down. Being a lot more deliberate. There are a few things on my “I’d like to accomplish” list for 2022. I’m using Gretchen Rubin’s “22 for 22” framework, but I only have about 10 things listed so far. 

What I’m not doing

I’m not doing any reading challenges. I’m not going on a diet. I’m not “making big plans,” at least not yet. 

And speaking of plans, I just finished reading Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, by Oliver Burkeman (Amazon, Bookshop, no affiliation), which is not about time management in the traditional way at all. This passage resonated:

“…planning is an essential tool for constructing a meaningful life, and for exercising our responsibilities toward other people. The real problem isn’t planning. It’s that we take our plans to be something they aren’t. What we forget, or can’t bear to confront, is that, in the words of the American meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein, ‘a plan is just a thought.’ We treat our plans as though they are a lasso, thrown from the present around the future, in order to bring it under our command. But all a plan is—all it could ever possibly be—is a present-moment statement of intent. It’s an expression of your current thoughts about how you’d ideally like to deploy your modest influence over the future. The future, of course, is under no obligation to comply.”

Almost none of my plans over the past two years have come to fruition. I’m disappointed, but at the same time, simply grateful to be alive and relatively unscathed. I’m not even going to try to guess what 2022 holds, but I am going to stay optimistic and open. To continue to embrace simple pleasures and everyday adventures—and to share any happy discoveries with you.

Do you have any special plans for 2022? What is your word of the year?

For more easy, beginning-of-the-year inspiration, check out these links:

The Soul + Wit podcast, “Less Hustle, More Happiness.” 

The Action for Happiness Happier January calendar.

Photo by Kyle Peyton on Unsplash

• What do I want for the rest of the year?

• What is working well? What isn’t?

• What gifts has 2019 given me so far?

• What habits do I want to break? What habits do I want to continue or start?

• Is there anything that I absolutely want to accomplish this year? If so, what small steps can I take immediately to work towards that goal?

• Choose a habit—it can be as small as you like, as long as you commit to doing it daily or almost every day.

• Practice your habit until it becomes a routine. 

• And when your routine is disrupted (which will happen sooner or later), do what you can to maintain some semblance of habit during the disruption. If this isn’t possible, don’t stress about it—just return to your established routine when you can.

Ready for action

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

Choose a Word of the Year

Adopt a “Do More ______, Do Less_____” philosophy

Commit to a 30- or 90-day challenge

Make a list of simple pleasures and everyday adventures you want to experience

Write a letter to your future self

Start a gratitude journal, jotting down at least one thing you’re grateful for every day

Join the 7 Things x 2018 Challenge

Mental contrasting is a visualization technique developed by researcher and professor Gabriele Oettingen and her colleagues, and is discussed at length in the book Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation. 

1. Wish. Choose a wish or goal that is important and challenging for you, but one that also feels doable within the next four weeks.
2. Outcome. What is the best possible outcome if you were to fulfill your wish? How would you feel? Imagine this as fully as you can.
3. Obstacle. What is the biggest obstacle within you that stands between you and your wish? Figure out what that is, then take a moment to imagine that fully.
4. Plan. Once you know what stands in your way, take some time to figure out at least one way you can overcome it. Create an “if/then” plan: “If…, then I will…”

1. After writing down the topics I wanted to concentrate on for the next year, I tucked the list away and never looked at it again.
2. I didn’t break down the larger goals/objectives/dreams into small actions I could take.
3. I didn’t revise and expand each year’s goals as I went.