Authors

Reflections on an Evening with Gretchen Rubin

April 18, 2025


For years, Gretchen Rubin has been one of my inspirations for Catching Happiness. I’ve read most of her books, and written about two of them (here and here), as well as her “four factors of happiness.” When I heard she was going to be in Tampa on April 17 for a tour stop for her most recent book, Secrets of Adulthood, I signed up to attend, and invited a friend I knew would enjoy going on an everyday adventure with me.  

Gretchen was warm and funny, thoughtful, and engaged with the crowd and the interviewer, author and podcaster John R. Miles. In addition to the simple pleasure of spending a few hours with a good friend while listening to an uplifting conversation between two interesting people, I came away with a few bits of inspiration for my own life. 

Writing routines and creativity

I always love to hear about other writers’ routines. Rubin gets up at 5:30 a.m. and writes until 9 a.m. Other activities she saves for later in the day, making sure to do her hardest work, original writing, when she’s at her best. This is something I’ve drifted away from, frittering away my sharpest hours doing non-high-value work. I plan to change that by changing the way I arrange my daily schedule.

Both Rubin and Miles agreed that the more writing you do, the better—i.e., the best way to spur creativity is by using it. Both are prolific between writing and podcasting, working on multiple projects at once. I’ve also gotten away from this habit, partly because of life circumstances. Now that things are settling down, I have the bandwidth to work on more—and that sounds appealing rather than overwhelming!

Aphorisms for the win!

Secrets of Adulthood is a book of aphorisms, concise statements that contain expansive truths.  Like Rubin, I love reading and collecting them. I love it when I discover a short saying that sums up something I’ve been thinking, or when I can quickly call to mind an aphorism to help me decide what to do about something. Here are a few from the book they talked about last night:

One of the best ways to find friends is to make friends with the friends of our friends.

The opposite of a profound truth is also true.

We care for many people we don’t particularly care for.

Pouring out ideas is better for the imagination than doling them out by the teaspoon (see creativity, above!)

Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

What can be done at any time is often done at no time.

Inspiration to go

After meeting Rubin and having our books signed, we drove home excitedly discussing what we were now feeling inspired to do—habit changes, books we want to read, more author events we can go to. While I still sometimes find it hard to convince myself to get out and do things rather than hole up at home, I’m always glad when I make the effort. In fact, there’s a Rubin aphorism for that: “Choose the bigger life.”

What has inspired you lately?

For more information:

https://gretchenrubin.com/

Happier with Gretchen Rubin (podcast) 

https://johnrmiles.com/

 


Gretchen Rubin

Happy Then, Happy Now

July 08, 2022


One of the best ways to make ourselves happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past. Photos are a great memory-prompt, and because we tend to take photos of happy occasions, they weight our memories to the good. 

—Gretchen Rubin

I’m sifting through happy memories for a soon-to-come Field Trip Friday post. Have a great weekend!

Chris Bailey

Happiness Is a Team Sport

September 21, 2018

Photo courtesy Rhythm_In_Life via Pixabay

At work, at home, and everywhere else, our happiness, productivity, and success is intertwined with the happiness, productivity, and success of the people surrounding us. If you think it isn’t, you’re not living up to your full potential.
—Chris Bailey, “I’m One of the Laziest People You’ll Ever Meet—and That’s What Drives My Productivity,” gretchenrubin.com


Action for Happiness

If It's Friday, It Must Be Time for Link Love

March 23, 2018

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad it’s Friday. I have some writing to do today, and then my husband and I are going to the movies tonight! And then…ah, the weekend. I hope you have some fun weekend plans in store. And if you have a few spare minutes, here are some links to love. Enjoy!

Just because it’s almost the end of March (already?) doesn’t mean we can’t use the prompts on Action for Happiness’ Mindful March calendar. So many great and simple ways to become more aware of the happiness all around us.

I know this isn’t in the usual Catching Happiness wheelhouse, but Shakespeare’s Top 50 Insults made me smile. (“Thine face is not worth sunburning”).  Be sure to scroll to the bottom for the Shakespeare Insult Generator. (If you don’t, you’re a spleeny, onion-eyed foot-licker!)

I adore solitude. If you do, too, you’ll probably recognize these “23 Things Only People Who Love Spending Time Alone Will Understand.” So many of these resonated with me.

If you’re in the market for an everyday adventure, consider trying something for the first time. Dani DiPirro at Postively Present has a list of some possibilities here. Pick something and do it!

Speaking of adventure, my friend Laure Ferlita just announced the possibility of an art retreat in the south of France, in addition to her already-scheduled Blue Walk tour in Paris. This sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for any artists out there.

Gretchen Rubin’s “My Best Advice for Graduates: 12 Tips for a Happy Life” is worth reading, even if your own graduation, like mine, is far in the past.

Cats and yoga. Namaste.


Have a happy weekend!


Better Than Before

Can Your Habits Make You Happier?

February 08, 2016


Right about now, many people are giving up on their New Year’s resolutions and falling back into their old ways. Their energy and enthusiasm is waning as January turns into February, and maintaining change is just too hard. Permanently establishing or changing a habit has proven difficult for many of us. Are there any strategies for making habit formation easier?

I’m glad you asked. Habits are the subject of Gretchen Rubin’s (The Happiness Project) newest book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, which came out in paperback in December. In it, she explores 21 proven strategies that help people change their habits.

Why are habits so important? And what is the connection between habits and happiness? One of the keys to happiness, according to Rubin, is an atmosphere of growth, and creating good habits helps us to grow. She notes that 40 percent of our behavior is repeated almost daily, and that “Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life.” Once established, habits free us from decision making, which preserves our self-control. Once a habit is in place, “We can effortlessly do the things we want to do,” she writes.

Think about it. You probably get up at the same time every day, eat a limited range of foods, and choose from a handful of leisure activities. Cementing the habits you want would improve the quality of your life and make you happier.

Rubin discusses a number of strategies to help you master your habits—strategies including monitoring (“find a way to count it”), foundation (first tackle the most obvious habits you want to change, such as exercise, sleep, eating healthy or decluttering), scheduling (write it down and be specific about when you’ll do it), and accountability (face consequences for what you do and don’t do). But one of the most helpful things in her book was a discussion of the Four Tendencies—the four general ways most people respond to expectations. Different strategies work better for different tendencies. (You can take Rubin’s quiz to find which tendency you are here.)  I’m an Obliger: I respond well to outer expectations, but don’t always meet inner expectations—in other words, if I tell you I’ll do something, I’ll do it. If I tell myself I’ll do something, I might not.

Rubin also discusses different ways to get started, whether you begin with baby steps, with a clean slate (as at the New Year), or make a sudden and major change to your habits (the “lightning bolt”), and many other strategies to help you shape your habits. These include learning how to spot loopholes, using distraction, and pairing something you like to do (read a magazine) with the habit you want to establish (working out on a cardio machine). She concludes the book by noting how “considering ourselves in comparison to others” can help you understand yourself better and in so doing, discover which techniques work best for you.

I found Better Than Before easy to read and filled with practical advice on mastering habits. There’s just something I like about Rubin’s down-to-earth style. I’ve used some of the strategies from Better Than Before to establish a few happy habits of my own. I track my workouts in my planner and hate to see more than one day go by without some type of exercise noted (monitoring). I leave a glass near the coffee pot so I’ll drink water when I get up every morning (convenience); and I hide the chips and cookies so I don’t see them every time I open the pantry (inconvenience—I know I could just not buy them, but I live with two people who would bring them in if I didn’t). I also exchange lists of goals with a friend each week (accountability). Armed with Rubin’s suggestions, I believe 2016 will be better than before.

What are your happy habits? What strategies did you use to establish them?

Flow

Summer Rerun: 7 Things You Can Do to Feel Happier Right Now

August 21, 2015

Note: I'm taking a more relaxed approach to blogging this summer, so occasionally I'm going to rerun a previous post. I hope you enjoy this one, from 2013.



You probably have a pretty good idea of what gives you deep, lasting happiness and contentment. But sometimes what it takes to reach that deep happiness doesn’t make you feel…all that happy. What if you’d just like to give your mood a little boost—what can you do to feel happier right now? Here are seven simple things you can do to feel happier right now:

Make a List. List your dreams, your goals (but not your chores), your top-ten favorite movies, the books you’d take to a desert island, the five happiest moments you can remember, or the next three places you want to visit. (As I was preparing this piece, Gretchen Rubin put up this post, strictly about making lists!)   Gretchen writes, “Making lists of this sort is a terrific exercise to stimulate the imagination, heighten powers of observation, and stoke appreciation of the everyday details of life.” 

Go outside. A dose of natural light might be just the ticket to make you feel happier. If you can be near trees or water, that’s even better. Connecting with nature is a better pick-me-up than a cup of coffee, according to research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology. So step away from that computer screen and take a walk in the park. 

Reframe “failures.”  When you’re striving for an ambitious goal, you’ll probably face some setbacks, and yes, even some failures. One way to feel happier about this is to reframe your “failure,” according to happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener in The World Book of Happiness. “Sometimes your most treasured goals run up against serious obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are outside circumstances and sometimes they are related to how we have framed the goal in the first place. When this happens we tend to react with frustration and disappointment. But by learning to think flexibly about our goals and to adjust them in the face of failure, we can end up feeling happier.” Thomas Edison is probably the best known proponent of this theory—he is often quoted as saying, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” 

Go for the flow. According to social psychologist David G. Myers, “Happy people often are in the zone called ‘flow’, absorbed in tasks that challenge but don’t overwhelm them” (The World Book of Happiness). Take up a hobby that offers the chance for flow—gardening, sketching, crafting, baking—whatever appeals to you. You’ll find more happiness when involved in one of these activities than if you spent the same amount of time watching TV, for example.

Complete a nagging task. You know, that errand you’ve been putting off, the phone call you need to make or the household chore that you hate but you have to do. If you’re like me, unfinished business nags at the back of your mind, draining some of the happiness out of your day. Gretchen Rubin writes about this here, and about how to get yourself to do those tasks you don’t want to do here. 

Listen to upbeat music. Researchers at the University of Missouri found that participants’ feelings of happiness increased when they listened to upbeat music and focused on lifting their moods. Other studies have found that music not only affects mood, but changes how you perceive the world. Create a playlist with your favorite songs for times when you need a mood boost. (And for extra happiness, sing along!)

Choose to be happy. Commit to enjoying the next 24 hours no matter what. It’s amazing what a simple commitment to being happy can do for you.

How do you lift your mood?

Contentment

Three Forms of Happiness--and How to Boost Them

October 03, 2014

When we talk about “happiness” we’re really talking about several different things. I’ve chosen to categorize them like this: momentary pleasure, overall happiness and long-term contentment. Ideally, a truly happy life balances all three. Let’s look at these forms and at how we can boost each one.


Momentary pleasure. Momentary pleasure includes all our feel-good moments and jolts of fleeting pleasure. We feel it when we eat a brownie or have a massage, receive a compliment or buy a new shirt. Fleeting pleasures are nice while they last, and we can—and should—easily add them to our daily lives. We should be on the lookout for opportunities to do something nice for ourselves—whether that means taking a break to read a novel, buying some fresh flowers or savoring a delicious meal. We might even make a list of momentary pleasures to indulge in when the time is right.

Nice as it is, however, momentary pleasure is just the tip of the happiness iceberg, so to speak. Chasing momentary pleasure without regard to deeper forms of happiness can backfire, ultimately leaving us unhappy. Which brings us to…


Overall happiness. Overall happiness is a general good feeling about life. Baseline happiness, if you will. Generally, things are going right for you and you appreciate what’s going on in your life. This form of happiness is a little more work than momentary pleasure—you might do things such as work out, eat right, pay your bills on time or help out a neighbor in need—things that contribute to overall happiness but might not always offer momentary pleasure. (For example, I’d much rather eat a brownie than broccoli, but I know my health will suffer if I don’t eat right, and that definitely makes me unhappy). Gretchen Rubin’s excellent books The Happiness Project and Happier at Home both examine ways we can boost our overall happiness. And finally, we come to…


Long-term contentment. Contentment comes from deep within, running like an underground river, even when our outward circumstances seem unhappy. I believe it comes from alignment of purpose, knowing we’re primarily acting according to our deepest values. We can look within and know we’re doing what we believe to be right. We believe our lives are full of more good than bad, and we’re grateful. Boosting this form of happiness requires some introspection, examination of what we really believe, and deciding whether we feel we’re living those beliefs. Meditation and other spiritual practices can guide us to long-term contentment. One practice I’m working on incorporating is the “three good things” exercise: every day before bed record three good things from that day. It’s so easy for me to dwell on the negative; this practice helps me refocus on the positive.

Pursuing—and catching—happiness seems to involve a balance between nourishing the body and the soul, taking pleasure and giving it. How do you boost your happiness?

Gretchen Rubin

Link Love, Self-promotion Edition!

August 08, 2014



I have a travel essay entered in the WeSaidGo essay contest! You can read “The Bits and Pieces Tour” here. Please stop by and take a look.

Elsewhere on the internet:

Change your password, change your life! What a great idea. Read about how the lowly password can remind you of what you want more (or less) of in your life. 

Don’t let these habits steal your happiness. 

Want more reading time? Check out Gretchen Rubin’s “13 Tips for Getting More Reading Done.” 

Interesting piece on how getting rid of expectations can help you “master the art of living.” 

These made me laugh (and almost made me miss working in an office). 

Visit A Blog Made Vibrant for a free downloadable “Emergency Mood Booster” worksheet.

Have a happy Friday!

Flow

7 Things You Can Do to Feel Happier Right Now

September 27, 2013


You probably have a pretty good idea of what gives you deep, lasting happiness and contentment. But sometimes what it takes to reach that deep happiness doesn’t make you feel…all that happy. What if you’d just like to give your mood a little boost—what can you do to feel happier right now? Here are seven simple things you can do to feel happier right now:

Make a List. List your dreams, your goals (but not your chores), your top-ten favorite movies, the books you’d take to a desert island, the five happiest moments you can remember, or the next three places you want to visit. (As I was preparing this piece, Gretchen Rubin put up this post, strictly about making lists!)   Gretchen writes, “Making lists of this sort is a terrific exercise to stimulate the imagination, heighten powers of observation, and stoke appreciation of the everyday details of life.” 

Go outside. A dose of natural light might be just the ticket to make you feel happier. If you can be near trees or water, that’s even better. Connecting with nature is a better pick-me-up than a cup of coffee, according to research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology. So step away from that computer screen and take a walk in the park. 

Reframe “failures.”  When you’re striving for an ambitious goal, you’ll probably face some setbacks, and yes, even some failures. One way to feel happier about this is to reframe your “failure,” according to happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener in The World Book of Happiness. “Sometimes your most treasured goals run up against serious obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are outside circumstances and sometimes they are related to how we have framed the goal in the first place. When this happens we tend to react with frustration and disappointment. But by learning to think flexibly about our goals and to adjust them in the face of failure, we can end up feeling happier.” Thomas Edison is probably the best known proponent of this theory—he is often quoted as saying, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” 

Go for the flow. According to social psychologist David G. Myers, “Happy people often are in the zone called ‘flow’, absorbed in tasks that challenge but don’t overwhelm them” (The World Book of Happiness). Take up a hobby that offers the chance for flow—gardening, sketching, crafting, baking—whatever appeals to you. You’ll find more happiness when involved in one of these activities than if you spent the same amount of time watching TV, for example.

Complete a nagging task. You know, that errand you’ve been putting off, the phone call you need to make or the household chore that you hate but you have to do. If you’re like me, unfinished business nags at the back of your mind, draining some of the happiness out of your day. Gretchen Rubin writes about this here, and about how to get yourself to do those tasks you don’t want to do here. 

Listen to upbeat music. Researchers at the University of Missouri found that participants’ feelings of happiness increased when they listened to upbeat music and focused on lifting their moods. Other studies have found that music not only affects mood, but changes how you perceive the world. Create a playlist with your favorite songs for times when you need a mood boost. (And for extra happiness, sing along!)

Choose to be happy. Commit to enjoying the next 24 hours no matter what. It’s amazing what a simple commitment to being happy can do for you.

How do you lift your mood?

Brendan Burchard

Son of Link Love

May 17, 2013


It’s time once again for a roundup of websites and blog posts that I’ve collected in my internet meanderings that I think you might like.

Visit http://tinybuddha.com/ for “simple wisdom for complex lives.” Lots of good and inspiring stuff here.

Susan J. Tweit always writes thoughtful and interesting blog posts. This one,  posted on the second Valentine’s Day after the death of her husband, touched and inspired me.

Watch this video by Brendan Burchard on limiting beliefs—what if you focused on your greatness, instead of your weakness and insecurity?


I love Gretchen Rubin’s books about happiness (The Happiness Project and Happier at Home), and read her blog nearly every day (the comments following the posts are always interesting, too). This post resonated with me, because the things I really want to do, that I know will add true happiness to my life, are not always the ones I find easiest.

Read about 22 things happy people do differently here. 

If you want a low-key way to add more poetry (and inspiration) to your life, visit Samantha Reynolds’ site, bentlily. I love the subtitle: “the art of noticing your life.”

And that’s it for this edition of Link Love. Have you made any new online discoveries lately?