Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

Note: I'm taking a more relaxed approach to blogging this summer, so occasionally I'm going to rerun a previous post. I hope you enjoy this one, from 2010. 

This is what happens when 95 degrees meets inattentive gardener:

Here’s the same plant after a drink of water and a good night’s rest:


This little ornamental pepper is amazingly resilient—I’m sorry to say this is not the first time she’s wilted in the heat. Still, she survives, even after freezing temperatures in the winter and practically dying of thirst in the summer.

If you look closely, you’ll see a few peppers still a bit wizened from their lack of water. Just like the peppers, we often wear the battle scars of what we’ve been through—in our faces, in our eyes, in our hearts. Yet still we come back for more, still we reach upwards toward the light—even though sometimes that light scorches us. For us, a drink of water and a good night’s sleep may be only the beginning of what we need to recover. We may need a box of assorted chocolates, an hour of solitude, a friend’s ear, or even professional help.

If you’re struggling right now, wilting in the sun, reflect on what you really need to get through today, and the day after, and the day after that. Be an attentive gardener—don’t wait until your leaves are drooping and your peppers are shriveled before you give yourself that cool drink of water that makes all the difference. I promise you’ll feel better in the morning.

This week my posting will be abbreviated while I deal with (and mourn for) a failed hard drive. Hope your week is going better than mine so far!

There’s no question that world events right now are as troubling as they’ve ever been in my adult life, barring perhaps the events of 9/11. I've been feeling frivolous to be writing a blog about “catching happiness” when it seems that all around me what people are really catching is misery. Then I remember the words I wrote in my “About Me” introduction: “I want this blog to be an exploration of simple pleasures, a place to go to hear about ordinary dreams and everyday adventures, and about all things positive that will inspire, encourage or even make us laugh. Heaven knows we need an antidote to all the bad news out there.”

I don’t believe my path and purpose in life is to “save the world.” What I can do is try to make life a little nicer for myself and those around me. Really, that’s all anyone can do, isn’t it? So here’s my very simple prescription for catching happiness, even in troubled times.

Be good to yourself. Be gentle and kind in your thoughts and expectations of yourself. When you’re hurting—afraid, worried, anxious, overwhelmed—ask yourself, “What would make me feel better right now? Ask this question several times until you arrive at one thing you can do right now that will really help. Sometimes it will be doing something active—once, unbelievably for me, it was cleaning my office. Sometimes it will be pampering, like taking a hot bath or a nap. Maybe it will be a brisk walk or some yoga poses. Maybe it will be a delicious meal with some good wine, or simply sitting outside and listening to the birds singing. Once you know what that one thing is, do it.

Coffee and beignets make me feel better

You can also be good to yourself by paying special attention to the details of your day-to-day life. Choose the pretty pocket notebook rather than the plain one. Eat lunch on real dishes rather than paper plates. Wear perfume every day, not just on special occasions. Buy the fresh flowers, replace the tatty underwear, make sure you have scissors in every room that needs them… If at all possible, deal with the things that constantly irritate you, and make the items you work with and around every day things that make you happy.

Which notebook should I choose?

Be good to others. While your heart aches for the people of Japan, Libya, Yemen, Bahrain (and the list could go on), chances are all you can do for them is to send up a prayer and maybe make a monetary donation. You can, however, be good to someone closer to home. You can volunteer your time in any number of ways locally, of course, but you can also make your family’s favorite meal, compliment the cashier at the supermarket, hug your child, or send a friend a card or gift for no reason. A nation, or even better, a world, filled with people trying to be good to one another—wouldn’t that be awesome?


Times like these make us grateful for what most of us have (a comfortable place to live and enough to eat) and what we don’t have (a nuclear reactor melting down or a government shooting at us). Our irritations and problems still exist, but seem less troublesome in comparison. Instead of feeling sad and overwhelmed, be good to yourself. Be good to others. And we’ll get through this, too.

When in doubt, curl up in a blanket

What small daily details can you tweak to lift your spirits? How can you do the same for others?

This is what happens when 95 degrees meets inattentive gardener:

Here’s the same plant after a drink of water and a good night’s rest:


This little ornamental pepper is amazingly resilient—I’m sorry to say this is not the first time she’s wilted in the heat. Still, she survives, even after freezing temperatures in the winter and practically dying of thirst in the summer.

If you look closely, you’ll see a few peppers still a bit wizened from their lack of water. Just like the peppers, we often wear the battle scars of what we’ve been through—in our faces, in our eyes, in our hearts. Yet still we come back for more, still we reach upwards toward the light—even though sometimes that light scorches us. For us, a drink of water and a good night’s sleep may be only the beginning of what we need to recover. We may need a box of assorted chocolates, an hour of solitude, a friend’s ear, or even professional help.

If you’re struggling right now, wilting in the sun, reflect on what you really need to get through today, and the day after, and the day after that. Be an attentive gardener—don’t wait until your leaves are drooping and your peppers are shriveled before you give yourself that cool drink of water that makes all the difference. I promise you’ll feel better in the morning.

I know I should be able to enjoy the Zen of the sudsy dishwater or the aesthetic beauty of the chopped tomatoes and basil in the salad. But, frankly, I’m just tired of it. It never ends! Sure, I can clean the toilet. Then it will get dirty again. And the family will get hungry and require dinner. Again.

Since I can’t afford to hire a chef or a maid, I have to trick and bribe and reward myself into keeping up with my household responsibilities when I feel like this. I use the kitchen timer. I promise myself I only have to clean while the commercials are on during a favorite TV show. I reward myself with a half hour of reading for pleasure if I empty the dishwasher and refill it. I even—gasp—skip doing a chore at its appointed time. Guess what? The world doesn’t end. The house remains standing, and though it occasionally looks a little disheveled, the health inspector has not yet condemned it.

This ennui tells me something: I need a break. I need a day or two where I don’t have to do chores and errands and cooking. A day or two in which to listen to myself and see if there is anything I could simplify or stop doing. Does my schedule need rearranging? Is there something I should start doing that would feed my soul? I’m learning not to be so hard on myself when I’m feeling a little less than enthusiastic about household chores.

Soon enough I’ll feel better, and I’ll go back to cooking and cleaning with a better attitude. Until then, does anybody have the phone number for the pizza delivery place?