That’s what I feel like I’m doing. Anyone else? Is it just
me, or does life seem unaccountably, almost unbearably busy lately? I feel
frantic! I have no down time between activities. I’m distracted—more so than normal.
I shudder to think what the holidays will be like when I feel like this in
September.
Since reading World Enough and Time, I’ve become more aware of time and my use of it, even
going so far as to keep a time log a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it’s because
I’m more aware that it seems like life has sped up?
From keeping the time log, I learned that I multi-task A
LOT, and I do a lot of small tasks that add up to big chunks of time. I had to
use a pen with an extra fine tip in order to fit all I did into the half hour
boxes of the time log! Even if I was working out on the elliptical machine, I was also reading a magazine. If we had the TV on, I was cooking or cleaning the
kitchen, balancing the checkbook or folding laundry. The only time I had large
stretches of time doing one thing was when I went to the barn, and that’s
because I didn’t record each individual thing I did while I was there.
No wonder I’m so tired by the end of the day. I really do
cram a lot of little tasks into my days, often doing them one right after
another. Since I can’t really point to any major accomplishment, except maybe
keeping our lives running, I never get a feeling of satisfaction and
accomplishment from what I do. So many things I do “disappear”—they must be
done again, and again (and again). They’re not even noticed by anyone unless I
stop doing them.
Is this a problem? Maybe. If I’m running around filling my
days with the little details, I never have to face my fears—the fear that I
won’t have anything to say when I sit in front of a blank page, or the fear
that if I stopped “doing,” my worth as a human being would plummet. I want to
be a contributor in life, not just a taker, but the way in which I’m going
about it now is not sustainable.
I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m stepping back
and calling a halt, starting with a day off tomorrow. I’m going to look at my
current schedule and activities and ask:
*Does this need doing?
*Do I need to do
it?
*Can it be done less frequently?
*Can someone help me with this so it will go quicker?
It’s a start. Maybe then I’ll be able to get my head above
water.
Do you have any tips on controlling your schedule and
commitments you can share?