Busy-ness

Dog Paddling in the Ocean...

September 28, 2012



That’s what I feel like I’m doing. Anyone else? Is it just me, or does life seem unaccountably, almost unbearably busy lately? I feel frantic! I have no down time between activities. I’m distracted—more so than normal. I shudder to think what the holidays will be like when I feel like this in September.

Since reading World Enough and Time, I’ve become more aware of time and my use of it, even going so far as to keep a time log a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it’s because I’m more aware that it seems like life has sped up?

From keeping the time log, I learned that I multi-task A LOT, and I do a lot of small tasks that add up to big chunks of time. I had to use a pen with an extra fine tip in order to fit all I did into the half hour boxes of the time log! Even if I was working out on the elliptical machine, I was also reading a magazine. If we had the TV on, I was cooking or cleaning the kitchen, balancing the checkbook or folding laundry. The only time I had large stretches of time doing one thing was when I went to the barn, and that’s because I didn’t record each individual thing I did while I was there.

No wonder I’m so tired by the end of the day. I really do cram a lot of little tasks into my days, often doing them one right after another. Since I can’t really point to any major accomplishment, except maybe keeping our lives running, I never get a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment from what I do. So many things I do “disappear”—they must be done again, and again (and again). They’re not even noticed by anyone unless I stop doing them.

Is this a problem? Maybe. If I’m running around filling my days with the little details, I never have to face my fears—the fear that I won’t have anything to say when I sit in front of a blank page, or the fear that if I stopped “doing,” my worth as a human being would plummet. I want to be a contributor in life, not just a taker, but the way in which I’m going about it now is not sustainable.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m stepping back and calling a halt, starting with a day off tomorrow. I’m going to look at my current schedule and activities and ask:

*Does this need doing?
*Do I need to do it?
*Can it be done less frequently?
*Can someone help me with this so it will go quicker?

It’s a start. Maybe then I’ll be able to get my head above water.

Do you have any tips on controlling your schedule and commitments you can share?

Accomplishments

Just (Don't) Do It

September 14, 2012

Despite the love/hate relationship I have with lists, I’m creating a new one: The Do Not Do List.

The Do Not Do List has been on my mind for quite a while. I’ve been jotting down things I won’t do anymore (see below) and I keep stumbling on articles that talk about the concept, which I think is a rather important one. Yes, it is important to know what you want to do. It is just as important to know what you will not do.

There are several reasons why something would land on a Do Not Do List. I’m not talking about the obvious illegal or immoral things, but things that, for whatever reason, you choose not to do. Maybe it’s a chore like washing windows, or a social obligation you decide no longer fits with your life. Do Not Dos can be as simple as “Do not check email before breakfast” or they can involve more weighty items related to work, parenting, volunteering, social or family issues. Each person’s list will be different.

Things for the Do Not Do list fall into a couple of categories: things you don’t want to do or dislike doing, and things you’d like to do, but currently don’t have the time or resources for. Think about that first type for a minute. We’re adults with (hopefully) mature minds of our own. Surely there are a number of things we do out of habit that we do not need to do. When we stop doing them, we free up time for more important and enjoyable activities.

The second category, things you’d like to do, can be placed temporarily on the Do Not Do List, to allow you to concentrate on a few priorities. You might develop a “Do Later” subcategory on the Do Not Do List. This is the type of thing I put on the Six-Year Calendar of Happiness.

The Do Not Do List helps you get rid of activities that are not adding to the sum of your happiness and productivity, but it also helps you focus on your most rewarding current priorities by streamlining your To Do List. Once something lands on the Do Not Do List, you don’t have to think about it anymore. You should feel a psychic burden lifted from your shoulders.

The Do Not Do List doesn’t have to be set in stone. Some things might stay on it for a week, a few months, a few years. Possibly some things will stay on it forever. Reevaluate occasionally to make sure it’s still working for you.

Here are a few examples of things I currently Do Not Do:

Take clothes to consignment stores. Too much work for not a big enough return. If I have unwanted clothes, I donate them to Goodwill Industries.

Read every article in a magazine. It might sound crazy, but I used to think I needed to read every single piece in a magazine, especially if I bought it instead of checking it out from the library. I would read articles that I was not particularly interested in because I was afraid of missing something I really needed to read, or the one paragraph or sentence that would spark a brilliant idea. I’ve come to realize that if there’s an idea or important concept out there for me, it will find me. I’ve also learned to stop reading books that I really don’t like.

Go on diets. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds. I have several strategies I use when the number on the scale (or the waistband on the pants) tells me my weight has crept up, but I do not cut out any food groups, restrict my calories to a very low level or follow someone else’s eating plan. I know those methods do not work for me. I become instantly rebellious, hyper focused on food and generally make things worse for myself. My way is excruciatingly slow (try five pounds in 10 weeks), but I do not usually feel deprived, and each time I have to make adjustments to keep my weight under control, I try to make lifetime habit changes. I also try to do it from a position of love for my body and what it does for me, instead of trying to punish it. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.

Wear shoes, no matter how cute, that hurt my feet, legs or back. I’m constantly on the lookout for comfortable, cute shoes and I’m willing to pay a bit more for them. So far I’ve had limited success. (Suggestions welcomed!)

We live in a complicated world in which the ability to say no to the extraneous and focus on the essential has become a vital skill. We cannot possibly focus quality attention on as many things as demand that attention. We have to pick and choose, no matter how difficult that might be (and I find it difficult). Even if we feel guilty for giving up unpleasant tasks, it’s still easier to dispose of things we don’t like doing, and much harder to streamline our enjoyable interests.  What are we willing to give up in order to accomplish something significant in an area of highest priority? Putting those things on a Do Not Do List, or even a Do Later List, can help simplify and clarify our lives.

What is on your Do Not Do List?

Books

Um...

August 10, 2012


What was all that about keeping life simple, reducing the amount of stuff on hand, etc.? I seem to have taken a step or two back, and it’s no surprise that books were involved.

I had been quite good about not buying a lot of books lately—that is until the bookish stars aligned in a most particular way in the past month. Suddenly I find myself inundated with a large pile of books from: 1. a library book sale; 2. my local used book store (where I at least turned in some books for credit); 3. Paperback Swap and 4. a sale at Abebooks.com. (I also bought a couple books from my library’s used book store as well. It’s a sickness, I tell you.)

I justify this sudden influx of books by noting that I’ve only bought books that I either can’t get at my library, books I especially want to add to my personal collection, or books that I need/want for reference for a writing project. I also can’t help it that one of the books on my Paperback Swap wish list became available during this same period…

And just when my to-be-read stack seemed to be shrinking.

Curious about all this book bounty? This post would be far too long if I describe all of these, so I’ll just share a few:

Tales of the City, Armistead Maupin. I found this at my local used book store. I was under the impression this was a series of essays, but it turns out it’s a novel, set in San Francisco. After visiting San Francisco, I’ve wanted to read more about it, and more books set there. 

Very New Orleans, Diana Hollingsworth Gessler. Another travel-inspired title. I’m adding this little illustrated book to my growing list of books about New Orleans, one of my favorite cities. 

The Solitary Summer, Elizabeth Von Arnim. A novel by the author who wrote Elizabeth and Her German Garden. In this book, Elizabeth is to have a summer all to herself, with no guests, but plenty of time for her books and her garden and general roaming of the countryside.  Sounds like heaven to me.  I bought this one and the next from the Abebooks sale. 

The Lady Vanishes, Ethel Lina White. I love mysteries, and this sounds like a good one. Originally published in the 1930s as The Wheel Spins, Alfred Hitchcock eventually made a movie out of it. 

Pears on a Willow Tree, Leslie Pietrzyk. This was one of the books my son could have chosen to read from his school’s summer reading list last summer. He didn’t choose it, but I decided to read it. Described as “a multigenerational roadmap of love and hate, distance and closeness….four generations of mothers and daughters of Polish ancestry are bound together by reminiscences and tangled relationships.” (Doesn’t sound like anything a teenage boy would want to read, does it? Who chooses the summer reading lists, anyway?!) Another purchase from my library’s bookstore.

Cousin Kate and The Spanish Bride, Georgette Heyer. I used to read Georgette Heyer’s historical romances when I was a teenager and young adult. This summer, I picked up Heyer’s biography, which turned out to be fascinating, and renewed my interest in her work. She was a very private woman, refused to do interviews to promote her books, and was quite expert on the Regency era in England in which so many of her books were set.

England As You Like It and England for All Seasons, Susan Allen Toth. I dare you to read Toth’s books on England and not want to pack your bag and go. I already had Toth’s My Love Affair With England and decided I wanted to complete the set—thanks to Paperback Swap, I did.  

Belle Weather, Celia Rivenbark. A collection of funny essays focusing on southern life. I’ve read her other books (including Bless YourHeart, Tramp, and Stop Dressing YourSix-Year-Old Like a Skank)  My library bookstore had Belle Weather for just a dollar, so I snatched it up.

I admit I go overboard with books. I really do not need to own all these books, but chances are pretty good that I will pass at least some of them on eventually, back to the used book store, library or Paperback Swap. In the meantime, I will revel in the wealth of printed material I have to choose from. I just finished a novel, so what shall I pick up next?

What do you go overboard with?

Hobbies

I'm My Own Worst Enemy

August 09, 2010

I made a trip to the library today to pick up some books for future reference for the blog and for some prospective articles for SheKnows.com—and look what I brought home!


The irony is that the DVD in the photo is about “simple living.” Ha. Nothin’ simple about trying to read, or at least skim, all these books while I simultaneously try to keep up with the Explorations Artful Journaling Class (Hi, Laure…yes, I will soon be turning in my two missing assignments…), get my son ready for the new school year (clothes, backpack, doctor’s appointments), keep writing while searching for new paying markets for freelancing, take care of my horse, and somehow keep my house from falling down around my ears.

Why do I do this to myself? It’s not like I don’t know better. Apparently, I don’t really want a simple life, or I’d have one. Or at least a simpler one. Apparently what I want is piles of books, stacks of papers, art supplies all over the kitchen table and a load of laundry left to languish in the dryer (It’s only sheets—they can wait to be folded.) What happened to Do Less in More Time?

When it comes to the fun stuff, I don’t want to cut back. I don’t want to miss out on anything that might be remotely enjoyable. The only problem is, when I cram my life so full of even the fun stuff, I fail to fully appreciate and enjoy each thing as I experience it.

So I guess I’d better figure out how to restrain myself. I think I’ll start by watching that simple living DVD. Maybe it’ll help.