Humor

I Saw the Signs

March 23, 2012

Saw this sign on the back of a van when I was driving to the library (click to enlarge photos):

What, exactly, is the cargo, I wonder?
And this sign on the road leading to the barn:

Now that is something I'd like to see walking down the side of the road.
And this one on the back of a stroller at the mall:

Apparently there are there people who need this instruction.
The world is full of funny signs. Just type “funny signs” into your search engine if you want a good laugh.

What signs have you seen lately?

Quotes

Time to Wake Up

March 21, 2012


“The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”
—Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Randomness

All You Ever Wanted to Know About Me--And More

March 19, 2012

I enjoyed this post by Crazy Aunt Purl (Laurie Perry) from several years ago, and since she did tag “everyone on the planet,” here goes:

TEN random things you might not know about me:
  1. I taught myself to eat with my left hand when I was a teenager and still find myself doing so sometimes.
  2. I never met a scone I didn’t like.
  3. I know how to give intramuscular injections to a horse.
  4. I no longer have a gall bladder. (Too much information?)
  5. I was very into acting in high school and was the president of the Thespian Club. (One of my specialties was imitating Lily Tomlin’s character, Edith Ann.)
  6. I learned to drive in my mom’s electric blue Camaro (much to the envy of my son, who learned to drive in a Honda Accord).
  7. I write poetry.
  8. I love flea markets and antique stores.
  9. I’m hopelessly un-athletic.
  10. But I try anyway. Sometimes. If I feel like it. 
NINE places I’ve visited:
  1. New Orleans
  2. France
  3. Greece
  4. Yellowstone National Park
  5. Israel
  6. England
  7. Italy
  8. Alaska
  9. Washington, D.C.
 EIGHT ways to win my heart:
  1. Be kind.
  2. Feed me chocolate.
  3. Make me laugh.
  4. Be Hugh Jackman.
  5. Cook for me.
  6. Even better, clean for me!
  7. Talk to me, listen to me—connect with me.
  8. Did I mention chocolate?
 SEVEN things I want to do before I die:
  1. Visit Prince Edward Island.
  2. Read all the books on my to-be-read list. (I’d better live forever.)
  3. Learn another language.
  4. Write a book.
  5. Live for a few months in several different cities.
  6. Love my body.
  7. Find out where the moths in my pantry are coming from!
 SIX things I’m afraid of:
  1. Lightning.
  2. Losing the people I love.
  3. Wasting my opportunities.
  4. Contracting a debilitating disease.
  5. Pennsylvania sports fans.
  6. That the Hokey-Pokey is what it’s all about.
 FIVE things I don’t like:
  1. Uncomfortable shoes
  2. Bloviators (it’s a very descriptive word!)
  3. Talk radio (see “Bloviators”)
  4. White chocolate (come on, people, it’s not even chocolate!)
  5. Humidity
 FOUR ways to turn me off:
  1. Be cruel to a person or to an animal.
  2. Try to convince me that your opinion is right and mine is wrong.
  3. Try to manipulate me or make me feel guilty.
  4. Fail to understand my absolute and uncontrollable need to browse in every used book store I see.
 THREE things I do every day:
  1. Read.
  2. Laugh.
  3. Brush my teeth.
 TWO things that make me happy (only two?!):
  1. Solitude.
  2. Cuddling with my dog.
 ONE thing on my mind right now:
  1. Tablets vs. Netbooks vs. “Ultrabooks”—and do I really need any more technology!
Tag—you’re it! How are we the same? How are we different? What’s on your mind right now?

Books

I Blame It On Nancy

March 16, 2012

My favorite reading genre is the mystery. This is my mom’s favorite genre also, and while I could blame my literary predilection on her, I choose to blame Nancy Drew.


Nancy came into my life as soon as I could read well enough to tackle her books. I don’t remember who introduced me to my first Nancy Drew book; perhaps my mom, or maybe a sympathetic teacher or librarian. No matter, I devoured as many of the books in the series as I could get my hands on, spending many happy hours following clues with Nancy and her friends.

As a quiet and shy child, I deeply admired Nancy, and would have loved to be more like her. Nancy, the motherless daughter of an attorney named Carson Drew, was spunky, fearless, intelligent and compassionate—a fine, and somewhat unusual role model for girls at the time the books first came out (see below). She solved mysteries in her fictional hometown of River Heights with the help of her friends, cousins Bess and George (a girl).

The story of Nancy Drew is an interesting one. She first made her appearance in 1930 in The Secret of the Old Clock. The first 34 volumes were published between 1930 and 1956. Eventually, 175 volumes were published in the “classic” Nancy Drew series (there are several “spin-off” series that bear her name). Edward Stratemeyer, founder of the Stratemeyer Syndicate, created Nancy, wrote many of the plotlines and hired ghostwriters to complete the books. All the Nancy Drew mysteries have been published under the pseudonym Carolyn Keene, but were ghostwritten by a number of different people, including Mildred Wirt Benson, who wrote 23 of the original 30 mysteries. Stratemeyer’s daughter, Harriet Adams, edited and wrote many of the Nancy Drews until her death in 1982. She also revised the original 34 stories beginning in 1959, to eliminate racist stereotypes. In the process, she also shortened the books slightly and toned down Nancy’s independent personality.

Beautiful endpapers
According to Wikipedia, more than 80 million copies of the various Nancy Drew series’ books have been sold. The books have been translated into 45 languages and Nancy has been featured in five movies, two TV shows and numerous computer games.

One of my happiest childhood memories revolves around Nancy. When I was about 8 or 9, one morning when I came to the breakfast table, there was a pile of books sitting next to my place. While I ate my cereal, I cast wondering glances at the stack of perhaps 10 to 15 Nancy Drew books. Where did they come from? We didn’t have the money to buy many books, certainly not this many at one time. My mom was rushing around getting ready for work so it took me a few moments to get her attention to find out what this unlooked for treasure was all about. She found the books, she said, when she went to the apartment complex’s dumpster to throw out our trash. The books, though not brand new, were in good condition, though most were missing their dust jackets, exposing their tweedy blue covers.

A windfall of books like this seemed like a miracle to me. I still remember the amazed reverence I felt when those books appeared on the breakfast table. Through many years and many moves, I’ve managed to keep a small selection of these treasured books, and I have them displayed in my office. After researching Nancy for this blog post, I pulled down several of my remaining volumes. To my delight, most are the original, unrevised copies from the 1930s. Only one still has a dust cover. The rest retain their tweedy blue glory.

Through the years I moved on to other authors—Erle Stanley Gardner and his Perry Mason mysteries, everything Agatha Christie ever wrote, and eventually many, many more mystery authors like Patricia Wentworth, Rex Stout, and Marjory Allingham. (I do read more “modern” mysteries, but they aren’t quite as cozy and comforting as the vintage authors I keep returning to.) But my heart will always have a special soft spot for Nancy, the teenage girl who chased villains in her blue roadster.

What were your favorite books from childhood?

My proudly scrawled name
For more information on Nancy Drew, click here.

Poetry

The Art of Being

March 14, 2012


Anne Coray is an Alaskan, and in this beautiful meditation on the stillness of nature she shows us how closely she’s studied something that others might simply step over. [Introduction by Ted Kooser.]

The Art of Being

The fern in the rain breathes the silver message.
Stay, lie low. Play your dark reeds
and relearn the beauty of absorption.
There is nothing beyond the rotten log
covered with leaves and needles.
Forget the light emerging with its golden wick.
Raise your face to the water-laden frond.
A thousand blossoms will fall into your arms.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2011 by Anne Coray from her most recent book of poetry, A Measure’s Hush, Boreal Books, 2011. Poem reprinted by permission of Anne Coray and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2012 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.