A couple of months ago, one of the founders of Happify.com
contacted me to ask if I’d like to be a beta tester of the site before it went
public. Of course I said yes, because I’m always interested in all possible
ways of increasing happiness for myself and others.
Created by a combination of scientists and game designers,
Happify uses games, quizzes and activities designed to help improve your level
of happiness because, as they write in the About Happify section, “Just like
physical fitness, there are activities you can do on a regular basis to become
happier.” Scientific evidence indicates that about 40% of our happiness level
is within our control (the remaining 60 % stems from genetics and demographics).
That means that we can have a
significant impact on how happy we feel by doing things that make us
happier.
Happify has broken down the activities into five “essential
happiness skills”: Savor, Thank, Aspire, Give, Empathize. Once you sign up,
you’re given an initial assessment of your happiness level. Then you choose
a “track” to follow. You can measure and follow your progress on your
designated track, and you can switch tracks if you want to. Most activities
take only a few minutes, with a few more minutes more to write about them. Some
you can pledge to do, then come back and report on how they went. You can read
about the science behind each activity by clicking the “Why It Works” button. Members
are encouraged to follow other members, “Like” and comment on others’ Happify
posts. You can set each activity to be visible to your followers, or just
yourself. (To protect people close to me, I chose to keep a couple of the more
sensitive activities private.) You can choose photos to illustrate your posts
from the Happify site, from Facebook or from your own computer. There is also a
Happify Facebook Group you can join.
In addition to Happify members’ posts, Happify’s home
page features the “Daily Happifier”—photos, videos, quotes or short stories
intended to boost your mood.
So far, I’ve completed one track: “Cope Better with Stress,”
and I’m now working on “Nurture Your Body and Soul.” Other tracks include
“Appreciate What You Have,” “Explore the Art in Happiness,” “Be More Socially
Connected,” and “Enjoy Parenting More.”
So what do I think? I have to admit my initial response when
I started was to feel more stressed! (Oh, no—I’m falling behind on my happiness
activities!) The program is set up so you do a certain number of activities in
a certain time frame, and I could not keep up. This was partly because since I
am a “Pioneer,” I was taking them very seriously and wanting to put some time
and thought into each activity. I wanted to post, comment on others’ posts and
give feedback as often as I could. Once I realized I could extend my track as
often as I wanted, and that no one was pressuring me to finish, I settled down
to my own slightly plodding and erratic pace and relaxed about the whole thing.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far is how oblivious I am
throughout the day. I don’t take the
time to notice and savor. I charge through my days trying to “achieve” as much
as I can, whether that means a writing project, household chore or batch of
errands. I’m missing my own life! The Happify activities, many of which require
a bit of reflection, have helped me be more mindful, to plan treats for myself and others, and to think more deeply about
my life.
I think if you go at your own pace, and participate as much
or as little as you like, Happify can
be a fun way learn more about what makes you happy, as well as connect with
others who are focused on bringing more joy to everyday life. Happify has
extended an invitation to my readers, so if you want to check out
Happify for yourself, click here. And let me know what you think!
This column originates in Nebraska,
and our office is about two hours’ drive from that stretch of the PlatteRiver where thousands of sandhill
cranes stop for a few weeks each year. Linda Hogan, one of our most
respected Native writers and Writer in Residence for The Chickasaw Nation,
perfectly captures their magic and mystery in this fine poem. [Introduction
by Ted Kooser.]
One of my heroes is gone. On Saturday evening, my
grandmother, Vivian Burch Holmes, passed away at the age of 97.
My grandma was my hero because she was so full of life,
interested in living and in other people right up until the end. Until
recently, she went to hospitals and nursing homes to visit and play bingo with
the “old people.” She lived independently until November, when the effects of a
small stroke made it too hard for her to climb the stairs to her basement-level
apartment. I know she found it very difficult to move to an assisted living
facility near my aunt, leaving her friends, her church and her independence
behind.
I didn’t know my grandma as well as I would have liked. For
all of my growing up years, I lived in California
and she lived in Virginia. I
visited her a time or two, and she came out to California
a couple times as well, notably for my high school graduation. She wrote to me
regularly, even up until a few weeks before her death. I’m so glad I wrote back
and she was able to hear and understand my letter before she died. I always
thought of her as Grandma Burch, even when she remarried after my grandfather
died. (Her second husband passed away some years ago.)
Happy Birthday, Grandma!
Even with our sporadic contact, I have many happy memories
of Grandma. She tried to teach me how to crochet (I never advanced beyond one
long string of yarn) and she did teach me how to do candlewicking. One of my
favorite memories is of the time she came to visit us in Florida,
and my dad and stepmom came from California,
when Nick was about 3. It was near Grandma’s birthday, so every time we went
out to eat, we told the servers it was her birthday, and they came and sang to
her. The best time was at a Mexican restaurant where they made her wear a giant
sombrero while they serenaded her. You can see by her big smile she’s enjoying
the experience! Other memories of that visit include a trip to Disney World,
and a looong toy guitar “concert” given by Nick out on our lanai which everyone
endured more or less patiently.
Grandma lived a full life, and died a peaceful death.
She was loved and she will be missed. She was not rich, famous or powerful, but
she touched and inspired many lives, including my own. I was lucky to be her
granddaughter.
I spent a happy hour sitting on our lanai after dinner one
night last week. I dipped in and out of my book, but mostly I listened to the
birds, trying to identify the different species I saw and heard (I’m terrible
at this but enjoy it anyway). A frog’s voice pulsed from somewhere to my left.
My dog occasionally announced her presence to the world by randomly barking at
nothing in particular. A squirrel jumped onto the screen enclosure with a soft thunk, a couple of people jogged by on
the trail. A hawk perched on the limb of an oak, rubbing his (or her) beak
against the bark. The insects began an evening chorus.
I noticed that when I stop to listen, the quiet evening is
full of small clicks and chirps and rustlings. Noticing them and trying to
figure out what they are gave me deep pleasure.
I’ve noticed, too, that when I slow down the pace of my
everyday activities, I observe so many details I might have otherwise missed:
the way the morning light glows in my bedroom when I open the blinds, the smell
of brewing coffee and of the gardenias on my desk, the taste of strawberries
and the spacecraft-taking-off-for-Mars clatter of the washing machine. These
little details make up the real “fabric of our lives” (with apologies to the
cotton industry) and too often I’m oblivious to them. I think I’ll make sitting
outside after dinner a regular practice. I can always learn to listen better.