Being vs. doing

What's the Rush?

May 12, 2014

“Slowness is an option for everyone on the planet, not just a privilege reserved for the very wise or very young or very rich. All of us can decide (and the phrase is a potent one)
to take our time.”
—Christian McEwen, World Enough and Time

For the past few weeks, I’ve been experimenting with deliberately slowing down my actions. I’ve been surprised by how many times I catch myself rushing, as opposed to simply moving efficiently and deliberately. When I take the dog’s medications out of the cupboard, when I get out of the car to go inside, when I unload the dishwasher—I feel an internal push to hurry. (Gretchen Rubin describes this feeling perfectly in Happier at Home: “I always have the feeling that I should be working. I always feel pressed for time, as if someone were shoving a pistol in my back and muttering ‘Move, move, move!’”) I’m already aware that when I hurry I break things and hurt myself, and I really don’t need to hurry every minute of every day, so what gives?

It’s at least partly the familiar and eternal battle between doing and being. No matter how hard I try, it seems that I can’t shake the feeling that if I’m not doing something (or hurrying on to the next something) then I’m not worthy. No matter how much I streamline my do-do list, there’s always more to do than I’ll ever be able to accomplish. Hurry has become a habit. One I’m determined to break.

Even with my new focus on not hurrying, and even though I’ve written several blog posts about the concepts of doing less and slowing down (see “Do Less in More Time” and “One Less Thing,” for example), I still struggle to follow my own advice. Take last Thursday. First, while driving home from the grocery store, I stopped too quickly at a stop sign, spilling my coffee into the cup holder and down the center console. After I cleaned that up and got the groceries unloaded, instead of just chilling for a few minutes, I got caught up on the computer and was late leaving for yoga class. I barely had time to take off my shoes, drop my keys and roll out my mat before it started. I felt flustered, distracted and off balance for at least half the class and the quality of my poses suffered. After lunch, while on the way to run an errand with no timetable, I realized I had a death grip on the steering wheel as I tried to hit every traffic light just right.

Slow down there, girl.

After that, I started reminding myself of a principle Natural Horsemanship practitioner Pat Parelli often refers to: Go slower to go faster. Here’s an example in action: that five seconds I saved by hurrying to go in the house is more than eaten up by the time it takes me to retrieve the mail from beneath the car where I just dropped it. If I’d taken my time in the first place, I’d already be inside (in the air conditioning) rather than crawling on the floor of the garage.  

When I remember to slow down, time does seem to lengthen. I’m able to move more smoothly from one thing to another without feeling internal pressure goading me on. So I’ll continue to pay attention to the speed at which I move. Keep saying no to busy work and rushing. Value the time and space between activities as much as the activities themselves. Seek out activities with a slower pace. And I’ll keep working on taking my time.

What makes you feel rushed? How do you slow down?

No rushing allowed

Emotions

To Successfully Pursue Happiness

May 07, 2014

“To successfully pursue happiness, one must also work up the nerve to feel it, knowing full well that to finally open the heart is to encounter the other outlawed emotions in all their terrible glory.”
—Linda Kohanov, Riding Between the Worlds

Pursuing happiness: My son at age 4 with a litter of puppies. Scout is
the one licking his face.

Everyday adventures

I Love a Good Putter*

May 05, 2014

Already out of sync because of last week’s computer fiasco, this weekend I threw aside my usual routines for two days of puttering. Instead of riding Tank, working out, doing laundry and other household things, I:
  • Took a nap in the recliner (because Scout doesn’t understand the concept of sleeping in on the weekend, I had to walk her early Saturday morning since it was too early to just let her out in the backyard—she can be a noisy dog, and I want to remain friends with my neighbors).
  • Repotted a few orchids that were looking peaky. 
  • Puttered about town with my husband while he looked for tomato cages and a few other gardening items. We stopped at a place we’ve driven by for years—it turned out to be full of winding paths, ironwork, garden statuary, interesting plants, and…baby peacocks! And I did not have my camera! I will be going back.
  • Ate lunch with my husband at a favorite local restaurant. We both work at home so it feels like we’re always together, but really we don’t spend much time actually interacting. It was fun chatting and eating food someone else cooked.
  • Took off the winter slipcovers and replaced them with the summer ones. I’ll do the bed linens today.
  • Finished off the weekend by drinking a glass of wine and reading out on the lanai.

Prudy supervises the puttering

Though I felt a bit guilty about skipping some of my normal weekend activities, I think it’s good to change things up now and then, to wander through town with no real agenda, to blow off formal exercise for puttering around the house and yard. The laundry and elliptical machine will still be there. (Unfortunately.) And I finally trust myself to return to my healthy and organized habits after a brief break—I’m not going to throw all my systems to the wind and never return to my responsibilities. A weekend spent puttering refreshed me, helping me to look forward to what I hope will be a busy and productive week.

What would you do if you had a free weekend? What simple pleasures and everyday adventures would you like to indulge in?

*and I am not referring to the golf club.

Computers

When Good Computers Go Bad

May 02, 2014


Life took an unexpected detour last weekend when my computer began “acting funny” (my tech-savvy description). My husband spent a good portion of two days helping me tinker with the computer and doing online searches for things like “log on process has failed to create the security options dialog” and other, more ominous messages. After running various diagnostics and “fixes” (haha), which resulted in the computer doing nothing but blink at us, we finally determined the hard drive was failing and needed replacement.

My husband was confident he could replace the hard drive himself and we ordered a new one. We read a step-by-step description of the process, and watched a tutorial on YouTube. After the new drive arrived, he was able to put it in in just a few minutes. The most time-consuming thing has been reloading my operating system and all my programs. Fortunately, I had all my documents backed up. I thought I had my photos backed up but didn’t, not all of them—I’m still working on that. And figuring out how I can plug in my iPod without iTunes erasing all my music! (That’s happened to me before…) I figure by the end of today I’ll be finished getting things back to normal.

New hard drive
I’m deeply grateful to my husband, Larry, who worked patiently for hours while we tried to figure out the problem, and finally fix it. He put into words the moral of this story when he said, “You can fix anything if someone will show you how.” A good takeaway when life hands you unexpected adventure.

I would also add, if you have anything you value on your computer, back it up, Back It Up, BACK IT UP!

So endeth the lesson.

And how was your week?