“Being present means honoring what is real in
our lives. When we only show others the appearance of perfect, we miss the
opportunity to meet them in the place where we are deeply seen.”
Mary Florence Elinor Rainbow (!) was born Sept. 17, 1916 in
the town of Sunderland, England. She attended Durham University and received a
First Class Honours B.A. in English. In 1941, she accepted a post at Durham
where she lectured on English Language and Literature. It was here she later
met the man who would become her husband, Frederick Henry Stewart (later Sir
Frederick). They married in 1945, and eventually moved to Edinburgh, Scotland
in 1956, where he became the chairman of the geology department at Edinburgh
University.
According to her obituary in The Guardian, Mary
Stewart began writing novels “in the mid-1950s [because of] an ectopic
pregnancy and consequent operation which meant she could not have children.”
Her first book, Madam, Will You Talk?, was published in 1954. She was
most popular in the late 60s, 70s and 80s, and one of her books, The Moon-Spinners, was made into a Disney movie (the movie is quite different
from the book).
In addition to her novels, she also wrote several children’s
books and one book of poetry. My
favorites have always been her “superior romantic thrillers,” especially This Rough Magic, My Brother Michael, and The Moon-Spinners, but
she is also well-known for her Merlin/Arthur books, The Crystal Cave, The Hollow Hills and The Last Enchantment. I’ve never read any of these,
because I’ve never been much interested in the King Arthur legend, but I think
I’ll pick up at least The Crystal Cave to see what these are like. (She
later wrote two more books in the series, The Wicked Day and The Prince and the Pilgrim.)
I love her books for the writing itself, but also because of
her heroines. They’re ordinary young women, often traveling alone in places I’d
love to visit, who prove themselves when they’re thrown into adventure. They
leave their comfort zones, and through their courage and fortitude solve the
mystery and win the heart of the hero. The stories are just plain fun.
One of the biggest thrills of my life was visiting Delphi in
Greece, with my copy of My Brother Michael as company. I even saw the
statue of the Charioteer mentioned in the book in the museum there. Here he is:
If you’re a Mary Stewart fan, I’m sure you don’t need any urging to read or re-read one of her books. If you’ve never read her, I hope you’ll give her a try. To learn more about Mary Stewart and her books, check out marystewartnovels.com.
For years, Iceland has been high on the list of countries
I’d like to visit. I want to soak in the Blue Lagoon meet an Icelandic horse, and I’d love to explore a
place that is consistently ranked as one of the happiest countries in the
world. Despite a devastating financial crash in 2008, erupting volcanoes, and
dark winters, Iceland currently ranks 9th in the World Happiness
Report (the U.S. ranks 17th). There are certainly many factors
involved, but one has got to be an emphasis on the factors that strengthen
mental health.
The Blue Lagoon (photo courtesy briongloid) |
More than 10 years ago, Reykjavik psychologist Dora Gudrun
Gudmundsdottir knew that Iceland was consistently ranked as one of the world’s
happiest nations, but she could find no studies on happiness in her country.
She was curious about what factors predicted happiness. She found that the best
predictor for happiness was not money, as many people believed, but social
relationships (living with and/or spending time with a partner, friends or
family). A second important predictor was health, especially mental health.
This prompted her and her colleagues at the Public Health Institute to launch a
public campaign to encourage better mental health and greater happiness among
Iceland’s citizens. After studying research literature for common strategies
and characteristics of people generally considered happy and successful, the
result was the “Ten Commandments of Mental Health,” phrases that remind people
what they can do every day to strengthen their mental health, and thus increase their happiness. The Public Health Institute of Iceland sponsored
lectures and a media campaign, and sent a refrigerator magnet displaying “The
Ten Commandments of Mental Health” to every household in the country. (Magnets
were available in English for foreigners who couldn’t read Icelandic). Curious
about the ten? Here they are:
- Think positively; it’s easier
- Cherish the ones you love
- Continue learning as long as you live
- Learn from your mistakes
- Exercise daily; it enhances your well-being
- Do not complicate your life unnecessarily
- Try to understand and encourage those around you
- Do not give up; success in life is a marathon
- Discover and nurture your talents
- Set goals for yourself and pursue your dreams
So much that contributes to happiness is within our own
power—we just need the occasional reminder. (And if I ever get to Iceland, I’d
love to snag one of those magnets!)
Icelandic horse (photo courtesy Ida Lindell) |
My grandmother Moser made wonderful cherry pies from fruit
from a tree just across the road from her house, and I have loved fruit trees
ever since. A cherry tree is all about giving. Here’s a poem by Nathaniel
Perry, who lives in Virginia, giving us an orchard made of words. [Introduction
by Ted Kooser.]
Remaking a Neglected Orchard
It was a good idea, cutting away
the vines and ivy, trimming back
the chest-high thicket lazy years
had let grow here. Though it wasn’t for lack
of love for the trees, I’d like to point out.
Years love trees in a way we can’t
imagine. They just don’t use the fruit
like us; they want instead the slant
of sun through narrow branches, the buckshot
of rain on these old cherries. And we,
now that I think on it, want those
things too, we just always and desperately
want the sugar of the fruit, the best
we’ll get from this irascible land:
sweetness we can gather for years,
new stains staining the stains on our hands.
“Slowness is an
option for everyone on the planet, not just a privilege reserved for the very
wise or very young or very rich. All of us can decide (and the phrase is a
potent one)
to take our time.”
—Christian McEwen, World Enough and Time
For the past few weeks, I’ve been experimenting with
deliberately slowing down my actions. I’ve been surprised by how many times I
catch myself rushing, as opposed to simply moving efficiently and deliberately.
When I take the dog’s medications out of the cupboard, when I get out of the
car to go inside, when I unload the dishwasher—I feel an internal push to hurry.
(Gretchen Rubin describes this feeling perfectly in Happier at Home: “I
always have the feeling that I should be working. I always feel pressed for
time, as if someone were shoving a pistol in my back and muttering ‘Move, move,
move!’”) I’m already aware that when I hurry I break things and hurt myself,
and I really don’t need to hurry every minute of every day, so what
gives?
It’s at least partly the familiar and eternal battle between
doing and being. No matter how hard I try, it seems that I can’t
shake the feeling that if I’m not doing something (or hurrying on to the next
something) then I’m not worthy. No matter how much I streamline my do-do list,
there’s always more to do than I’ll ever be able to accomplish. Hurry has
become a habit. One I’m determined to break.
Even with my new focus on not hurrying, and even though I’ve
written several blog posts about the concepts of doing less and slowing down
(see “Do Less in More Time” and “One Less Thing,” for example), I still
struggle to follow my own advice. Take last Thursday. First, while driving home
from the grocery store, I stopped too quickly at a stop sign, spilling my
coffee into the cup holder and down the center console. After I cleaned that up
and got the groceries unloaded, instead of just chilling for a few minutes, I
got caught up on the computer and was late leaving for yoga class. I barely had
time to take off my shoes, drop my keys and roll out my mat before it started.
I felt flustered, distracted and off balance for at least half the class and
the quality of my poses suffered. After lunch, while on the way to run an
errand with no timetable, I realized I had a death grip on the steering wheel
as I tried to hit every traffic light just right.
Slow down there, girl.
After that, I started reminding myself of a principle
Natural Horsemanship practitioner Pat Parelli often refers to: Go slower to
go faster. Here’s an example in action: that five seconds I saved by
hurrying to go in the house is more than eaten up by the time it takes me to
retrieve the mail from beneath the car where I just dropped it. If I’d taken my
time in the first place, I’d already be inside (in the air conditioning) rather
than crawling on the floor of the garage.
When I remember to slow down, time does seem to lengthen.
I’m able to move more smoothly from one thing to another without feeling
internal pressure goading me on. So I’ll continue to pay attention to the speed
at which I move. Keep saying no to busy work and rushing. Value the time and
space between activities as much as the activities themselves. Seek out
activities with a slower pace. And I’ll keep working on taking my time.
What makes you feel rushed? How do you slow down?
No rushing allowed |