Every morning I tear off a page in my Positively Present page-a-day calendar. Recently, the message of the day was this: 

We all thrive when we’re in the right environment.

It’s a simple statement that got me thinking. It is so true that just like plants and animals, we need the right combination of elements in order to thrive, not just survive. Those elements will be different for each person. And while we all have limits on the way we take charge of our environment, we also have more control than we might realize.

For my purposes today, I’m defining “environment” as:

The literal physical space—your home, office, car, etc., in which you exist.

The circle of people closest to you—your family, friends, and co-workers.

What you see and hear—what you fill your mind with, what you read, watch and listen to, including books, websites, music, TV, podcasts, and so on.

I’ve written about this concept before, in “Change Your Environment, Change Your Emotions—Three Simple Ways to Support Positive Moods,” and those principles still work for me. I continue to make strides in decluttering (tidiness), and I still love opening the blinds to let in the light and diffusing essential oils when possible. The cleanliness and beauty of my physical surroundings matter to me. I concentrate on the things I can change, rather than the things I can’t—like the fact that I live in Florida, where I find the humidity difficult (to put it mildly) to deal with.

What matters to you in your physical space? What colors, scents, objects, sounds, and so on, bring a lift to your spirit? Ingrid Fetel Lee’s website The Aesthetics of Joy is a fantastic resource for information on creating happier surroundings. 

I’m incredibly lucky to have a wonderful circle of very supportive friends, as well as a relatively peaceful and loving family. This is not to say that everything is always wine and roses here, and there are times when I have to set boundaries in order to help maintain that tranquility. This is hard for me, and I do it imperfectly, but such is life.

This is almost always the hardest category to deal with. If you have someone in your circle who stunts your growth for whatever reason, you don’t always have the ability (or even the desire) to completely cut off ties. But it helps to be aware of their effect on you, and perhaps take steps to offset it. Check out “13 Steps to Get Along with Difficult People” for some techniques for coping with people you might find challenging to be around. 

Doesn’t it seem like an uphill battle to protect your mind from all the bad news we’re inundated with? Sometimes I have to disengage from media (social and otherwise) for a while. Too many shouty headlines, and so, so much harsh unkindness and ugliness. At the same time, I do not want to hide from the important issues of the day. This is definitely an individual choice, as what is just right for me might be too much for you, or not nearly enough. What I do is look for reputable, balanced sources of news that don’t specialize in click-bait-y headlines. I monitor my anxiety levels to see when I need to back off. (One way to counterbalance bad news I recommend is the bi-monthly Future Crunch newsletter, which highlights positive news from around the world.) 

Otherwise, I’ve been filling my mind with good books, music, podcasts that interest me, and TV that I enjoy. For more information, check out Positively Present’s thought-provoking “Considering Content Consumption.”

Creating an uplifting and supportive environment doesn’t mean you should never seek points of view or experiences that challenge you, of course. That’s a part of learning, which one key to happier living. But you’ll likely thrive (rather than just survive) when your overall environment is suitable for you. 

So think about the factors which make up your environment, and whether or not it’s one that supports and nourishes you.

What are some of your strategies for creating a positive environment? Please share in the comments!

Photo by pure julia on Unsplash

As I gathered the links for this post, I found a definite theme emerging: comfort. Whether it’s looking at (or listening to) lovely things or pondering ways to protect our mental health, these links offer both an escape and ways to protect ourselves from an onslaught of terrible news. (Plus, I think they’re fun!) Hope you enjoy them, too.

There are some excellent suggestions in Happiful’s “10 Things to Do Instead of Doomscrolling.”   

Click here for The Guardian’s 50 Cheeriest Social Media Accounts.

And speaking of Doomscrolling, click here for a summary of “33 Problems with Media in One Chart.”

For those of you who want to do a jigsaw puzzle without the cat knocking the pieces onto the floor, give one of these a shot.

Look—baby tigers!

For anyone who has always wanted a card catalogue of their own: “It’s All in the Cards: How Organizing My Library Is Helping My Brain.” Not everyone would enjoy this, but I think it would be extremely satisfying.

These are exquisite.

I will always have a place in my heart for Paris, so I loved seeing Georgianna Lane’s “Early Summer Moments in Paris.” 

How to make the most of a mental health day.

Guilty as charged: “Why Women (and Men!) Love the Hallmark Channel.”

Just wow:

Have a happy weekend!

P.S. To round out today’s links, for anyone who hasn’t already heard, here’s a piece I wrote for the 2022 Tampa Bay Official Destination Guide.

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

When I wrote “I’m not even going to try to guess what 2022 holds, but I am going to stay optimistic and open” in my first post of the year, I couldn’t have guessed what the year would hold, and I’m actually grateful for that!

We can never “know” what’s coming (though sometimes we can guess). All we can do is savor the happy times, and build a foundation of resilience and a network of support for the hard ones. To stay “optimistic and open,” even when it’s hard. (And forgive ourselves when we fail at that.)

We can also cling to practices which help us feel grounded and give a shape and structure to our lives. Today I’d like to share my mid (-ish) year review of my efforts to shape 2022 so far.

Word of the Year (WOTY)

With the unavoidable complications of caregiving, “simpler” has been a great focus word. Here are a few ways I’m applying the concept of simpler:

I’ve continued to declutter my house. I’ve been watching YouTube videos by The Minimal Mom to maintain motivation, and one of the concepts she’s brought to my attention is that it’s all about “inventory management.” How much “stuff” do you want to manage?  I’m not a minimalist, but I do find a less cluttered environment contributes to a calmer mind. 

I’ve stripped my writing down to the bare minimum. This isn’t my favorite practice, but right now it’s the right choice. I simply don’t have the emotional and mental bandwidth to write much. (Though if the right project or idea comes along, I’ll make an exception!)

I’m breaking tasks into smaller, simpler steps.  For example, we want to touch up the paint in our bedroom. My task for this week was “Find out if we have the paint we need or if we have to buy more.” (Note: This will take approximately three minutes…and yet, here it is Friday and I haven’t done it yet! Since it is such a small step, though, I will probably manage to do it. This is why I need to break things down into tiny steps.)

“22 in 22”

In January, I’d only put about 10 things on my “22 in 22” list; now I’m up to 19. My entries range in difficulty from “buy new pjs” to “West Coast visit with Mom, Shy, and Kerri.” I’ve accomplished nine of the 19 (including the two just mentioned), with another three in progress. Considering what 2022 has wrought, I’m pretty happy with this. And I still have almost half the year to go.

The Happiness Jar

Even though I forget some weeks, I’m still dropping slips of paper in the Happiness Jar on a regular basis. It looks like this now:

I’m adding a reminder to my informal weekly planning session so I don’t keep forgetting. This little project really does make me happy.

What else?

No surprise here, I’ve been reading a lot! Books old and new, from my TBR shelf and from the library. I’m still working through my personal reading project, “Agatha in Order” (reading Agatha Christie’s novels in the order they were published). I’ve also been listening to more audio books. (Is anyone interested in a reading round-up post?)

Tank is living his best life, roaming a 15-acre property with a “gang” of older geldings. I ride once a week on average, an easy hack around the property with the occasional trot thrown in (he’s in better shape than I am for this). The heat and humidity of the Florida summer preclude doing much more than that, even if we wanted to. 

Tank (in front) with best buddy Bubba

My sketching practice is still largely theoretical, though I did do two or three sketches while I was in California in June. One of the undone “22 in 22” entries.

Future plans

I’m keeping them simple(r). Continue to experiment with ways to make sketching a habit rather than an event. Continue to declutter. Continue to slow down and take it one day at a time. Work on those tiny steps.

Lessons learned

Or, rather, lessons I’m in the process of learning… Hard things get easier over time. Letting go of perfectionism is more important—and more complicated—than I thought. Don’t wait if there’s something you really want. You never know when something may happen that makes it impossible to go after your desires.

I hope the first half of 2022 has brought you both joy and challenge—and that you’re on your way to reaching your own most desired dreams for the year.

How has your year been so far? Do you have any plans for the last half of 2022?

From Fort Casey State Park--Mt. Rainier in the distance

I’m still sorting through the notes, photos, and impressions of my recent trip to California and Washington. I’ve always embraced the simple pleasure of anticipation, but I’m still figuring out how to savor and extend the good memories of experiences like travel once I return home. I mostly just dive back into everyday life and all its attendant activities without taking time to savor my trip. It’s a work in progress!

Before everything becomes one confused blur, I thought I’d share just one day’s explorations while I was in Washington.

Whidbey Island

I went to the Seattle area to visit my wonderful friend Kerri. Kerri is the best tour guide, though you’d better wear comfortable shoes if you want to keep up with her. For example, on the day in question, we took a brief ferry ride to Whidbey Island where we visited:

The town of Langley 

Bayview Farm and Garden 

The Chocolate Flower Farm

Greenbank Farm 

Meerkerk Gardens 

Admiralty Head Lighthouse at Fort Casey State Park

I know, right? My pedometer only logged a bit over 11,000 steps that day.

It would take me thousands of words to record all that we saw and experienced just that one day, so I’m just going to hit a few highlights.

We started the morning in the charming little town of Langley. We checked out the whale bell (“Spy a whale, ring the bell”) and a few of the shops, where I saw a number of tempting purchases that I would have made, except I was saving room in my suitcase for our next destination. 

The whale bell at Langley

Steps to the beach

I’ve been dying to go to the Chocolate Flower Farm, where they specialize in dark maroon colored plants and those that smell like chocolate (their most popular plant is a chocolate cosmos). They also sell products like raspberry and chocolate jam, chocolate candles, and cocoa butter-based body products (that make you smell like chocolate). We were too early in the season for the chocolate plants, but it was still a beautiful place to visit, and I stocked up on the items I knew I wanted to bring home with me.

Chocolate Flower Farm residents

We were almost through with our day by the time we got to Fort Casey State Park and Admiralty Head Lighthouse. We were just in time to get photos of a ferry approaching, with Mt. Rainier in the background (see photo at the top of this post). 

We followed this trail...

To this view

Exploring new places, especially those as beautiful as Whidbey Island, is one of my favorite simple pleasures. And while the climate in Washington is much more comfortable than the climate here in Florida, I can’t help wondering what beautiful places I’m missing here because the humidity and heat keep me indoors. It’ll be a few months before I’m ready to spend any time outside that I don’t have to spend—but I’d like to make time to do more exploring. Between Covid and caregiving (and maybe the teensiest bit of laziness), I’ve spent more time in my home over the past two and a half years than anyplace else. And while I love being at home, I’m ready for some outside stimulation.

Have you had any summer adventures lately? Do share in the comments below!

One of the best ways to make ourselves happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past. Photos are a great memory-prompt, and because we tend to take photos of happy occasions, they weight our memories to the good. 

—Gretchen Rubin

I’m sifting through happy memories for a soon-to-come Field Trip Friday post. Have a great weekend!