Photo by Joanna Swan on Unsplash

“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we shall tend. The invisible underbrush holding us back is our own thoughts. When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but on the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure—the wasteland falls away and we experience more joy in the real lives we live each day.”

—Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance

Photo by Simon Ray on Unsplash

Don’t you get fed up with feeling helpless, that the world’s problems are too big to solve? This reminds me of productivity expert David Allen’s statement that you can’t “do” a project. You can only do steps of a project. 

So as individuals, we if we can’t solve [insert problem here], maybe we can take a small step towards a happier world, for ourselves and for others. Being kind, generous, and thoughtful is good for your own mental health as well as benefitting others. Every action counts. If we do nothing, nothing will ever change.

Here are five simple ways to make the world a happier place:

1. Help a teacher. If you have kids in school, start with their teachers. If you have friends who are teachers, ask them what they need. If you don’t know any teachers, check out Donorschoose.org. Teachers have borne a larger-than-their share of stress and turmoil over the past few years, and they could use our support.

2. Donate to a local food bank. Food banks across the U.S. are struggling with both greater need and the higher prices of food. Money is always appreciated, but another way I like to do this is to stock up on my grocery store BOGO deals—donating one or both of the items. 

3. Support small businesses, locally and online. Buying holiday gifts from small businesses (or makers on Etsy) is one way to do this. Watch for ways to participate in  Small Business Saturday (Nov. 26), a day set aside to celebrate and support small businesses and all they do for their communities. 

4. Support the authors, artists, and musician you love. When I think about how many hours of comfort and joy my favorites have given me, I realize that I could do more to say thank you. Monetary support through buying their offerings is only one way to support them. You’re already supporting them by reading their words, listening to their music, and gazing at their art (checking books or music out of the library counts)! But if you (I) want to do more, you can always share your favorites publicly on social media, or just in conversation with a friend.  Leave positive reviews or ratings. Send your favorite a message or fan letter. Follow them on social media and subscribe to their newsletters if they have them. This helps them to “build a platform,” which can lead to more sales.

5. Don’t forget yourself. That’s right, you heard me. Treat yourself kindly. Put having fun on your to-do list. If adding one more thing to the list makes your head explode, look at what’s already there and figure out how it might be made more enjoyable. If you’ve already scheduled some self-care, circle it in red and congratulate yourself for your good sense. (Click here for some simple ways to treat yo-self. For more great, mostly free self-care ideas, see “99 Free (Or Affordable) Self-Care Ideas for Your Wellness Routine.”)

Most of all, let your default be kindness. Take a beat when you’re tempted to snap at someone. No doubt this is an extra stressful time of year and I’m willing to bet that we’re all fighting hard battles of one form or another. So smile, be patient, listen.

(Want more ways to be kind? See “10 Ways to Spread Kindness.”)

We do not have to give in to the awfulness of the world. We can spread the ripples of kindness, even if we fear those efforts won’t make that much difference. I always ask myself, “What kind of person do I want to be?” Do I want to know in my heart that I did nothing, or made things worse, when I could have done some small thing to ease someone else’s burdens or give them an emotional lift? I remember how I feel when someone does something nice for me, and while I’m not always aware enough (or capable enough at the time) to do the kindness, it is my goal to be that person. Let’s keep trying to spread kindness and happiness in whatever ways we have available to us.

Please share in the comments below your ideas for small, simple kindnesses—I’d love to hear them!

Do you ever feel not quite yourself? Like you’ve gone missing in your own life? Activities you used to enjoy leave you flat. You don’t feel like doing/eating/talking about any of the things you usually enjoy, but you’re not sure what sounds enticing. If anything. You’re not depressed, exactly, but nothing brings you the joy it once did.

You feel like you’re wearing a [your name here] suit, just going through the motions of living your life.

Why would you go missing?

A turning point—I hope

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

—Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain

You’ve likely heard the news that earlier this week, actress Angela Lansbury passed away at age 96. Though Lansbury’s 70-year (!) career encompassed films, television, and theater, for me she’ll always be Jessica Fletcher, of the TV series Murder, She Wrote. This series is one of my go-tos for comfort TV, and when I’m feeling sick or stressed, I rewatch my favorite episodes, even if they’re on quietly in the background.

Why I love Jessica

Aside from the fact that Jessica (or J.B.) became a best-selling mystery author in her 50s (we’re never explicitly told J.B. Fletcher’s age, but Lansbury was 58 when she was cast as the character), she was unfailingly kind, tactful, and did not hesitate to do what she felt was right. She was active—you see her running and biking in the opening credits alone. She also fishes and gardens, lives on her own in her hometown of Cabot Cove, Maine and later in an apartment in New York. She travels the world, visiting her large circle of extended family and friends. She’ll drop everything to help her loved ones when they’re in trouble (it goes without saying that they are often on the hook for murder…). She’s always perfectly groomed and wears great, casually elegant clothes. She always seems sensible, capable and equal to the task, whether it’s learning to use a computer or catching a murderer.

Mendocino/Cabot Cove

Murder, She Wrote

Murder, She Wrote isn’t highbrow TV, but many people besides me refer to it as comfort TV. Even if bad things happen (and as I type this, someone is being chased by a murderous remote-controlled van), perpetrators of bad things will be caught and face the consequences of their actions. One writer described it this way: “It’s Sherlock Holmes with less cocaine, more chowder and Coastal Grandmother Sweater Looks.” Murder, She Wrote ran for 12 years, from 1984 to 1996, and you can still watch it on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, and streaming on Peacock, Freevee (Amazon), and The Roku Channel. 

During its initial run, my mom and I watched Murder, She Wrote together when we could (I was already away at college)—and we still watch those reruns when we’re together. This only adds to the “comfort” vibe.

My favorite episodes—they’re the coziest—are those set in Jessica’s hometown, Cabot Cove (which must be in line for murder capital of the world). In exterior shots, Mendocino, CA, doubles for Maine. (My friend Kerri and visited there on a road trip in 2018—see the pictures in this post.) 

Beyond Jessica

Of course, Angela Lansbury does not equal Jessica Fletcher, but it seems from all I’ve been reading that she was a lovely person. She was certainly a talented and versatile performer, nominated for and winning many professional awards. She was nominated for Tony, Emmy, Golden Globe and Academy awards during her long career, including 12 Emmy nominations for Murder, She Wrote (she never won). 

She did win five Tony awards for roles that included Auntie Mame and Nellie Lovett, the pie maker with the gruesome fillings in Sweeney Todd. A Lifetime Achievement Award brought her total of Tonys to six, tied with Audra McDonald and Julie Harris for the most awards given to one actor. On Oct. 15 at 7:45 p.m., Broadway will dim its marquee lights for one minute in her memory. 

Angela Lansbury’s work has brought me a lot of simple pleasure through the years, and I’m grateful. Rest in peace, Ms. Lansbury. 

For an in-depth story about Angela Lansbury’s life, click here.  

Kingkongphoto & www.celebrity-photos.com from Laurel  Maryland, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons