Birthdays

The Big One-Eight

August 31, 2012

My baby turns 18 today. I do not know how that is even possible.


Last night I spent some sweet hours looking through our family photos. All those trips to the park and the beach and the zoo, all those family get-togethers and vacations. (All those regrettable wardrobe choices as well as fluctuating weights and hair lengths…) How nice that only the good times live in our photos and I do not have visual reminders of the blown-out diapers, the sleepless nights, the battles over food and chores and homework (though, clearly, I remember them).

I didn’t find being a mother to be particularly easy or “natural.” The first year of our son Nick’s life was pretty hard on me. I went from working full time in our insurance agency with my husband to staying home full time with an infant who did not sleep well and wouldn’t take a bottle even of breast milk. My in-laws, who lived nearby, worked full time. My mom and stepmom in California also worked full time. We hadn’t been in Florida that long so I didn’t have a circle of friends to rely on for support, advice and commiseration. My closest friend had a three-month-old and lived more than an hour away. Nick was delivered by C-section, and just when I began to recover from that, I began having gall bladder attacks and had to have that organ removed when Nick was four months old. My husband, who was now running the agency without me, spent most of his time at the office and even when he was at home, he was emotionally drained. An organization called FEMALE (Formerly Employed Mothers at the Leading Edge), now known as Mothers & More, came to my rescue with chapter meetings (without kids) playgroups, outings with kids and mom’s night out activities. I met two of my closest friends through this group and we are still friends, all these years later (one of them is the Mary who took me to the winery a couple of weeks ago).

Despite that rough start, we eventually worked our way into being a family. And I have photographic proof that we’ve had a pretty good life. I’d like to share a few of the photos I found last night. The first was taken shortly after Nick was born:

Poor woman. Doesn't know what she's in for.
This is one of my all-time favorite photos. I was finally through that horrible, hard first year, and Nick and I had forged a close bond.


This photo captures one of my happiest memories. Nick had been given a child’s camera that took photos with 35mm film. One afternoon, we both took our cameras out on our nature trail to take pictures of what interested us. (Note the manly work boots and the walking stick.) I did have his photos developed, and I wonder if he has any of them still?


You’ve seen many photos of Scout on this blog. Here’s the first one I ever took of her. We always tell people that Scout chose Nick. My husband and I had chosen a puppy other than Scout from the litter, but when we came to take our chosen puppy home, this little black and white puppy would not stop following Nick around. He already liked her best from our first visit, so we changed our minds and took the black and white one home instead. Later, when we were going through photos of our first visit to see the puppies, we found this:


Most of the other puppies are doing their own thing, while Scout is licking Nick’s face.

The adage “The days are long but the years are short” most certainly applies to children. Nick’s gone from blocks and Legos, to Xbox and Facebook. He’s 6’1” and I couldn’t rock him in my arms if I wanted to. We’re looking at colleges and talking about professions instead of checking out preschools. But he’s still my baby, and always will be.

Even though he’s turning 18, Nick is still in high school, so I have a little more time to adjust to his newfound “manhood.” I can’t express in words how much, how fiercely I love him and how proud I am of him as he grows up and begins to make his way in the world. I can’t think of a more exciting, scary, rewarding everyday adventure than being his mom.

Happy birthday, Nick!

Bed

The Pleasure Hours

August 29, 2012



“Only one hour of the normal day is more pleasurable than the hour spent in bed with a book before going to sleep and that is the hour spent in bed with a book after being called in the morning.”
–Rose Macaulay

Everyday adventures

Stormy Weather

August 27, 2012



How lucky are we? Tropical Storm Isaac skirted farther to the west than we expected, and all we got was some rain (and a tornado watch). No school, no trash pickup, and government offices closed today. There could be some flooding of a river near us, but other than flooded roads we’ve been lucky. Again.

We prepared well for this storm—topping off our gas tanks, taking some cash out of the bank, making sure our hurricane food and water supplies were adequate, charging up the electronics and phones. I even went to the library to pick up two books on hold for me (wouldn’t want to run out of reading material, would I? Not that there’s the remotest chance of that). Last night, the worst of the storm looked likely to pass by us, so we didn’t have to bring in all our potted plants and patio furniture. Our preparations took on sort of the opposite of “If you build it, they will come” thinking—more like “If you prepare, the storm will pass you by.”  

Storms come to us all—both the physical and the emotional. With a hurricane or a tropical storm, you usually have plenty of warning. Not so for an earthquake, which I experienced several times growing up in California. There’s not a lot you can do, except try to be prepared for the inevitable. Store up food and water, fill your gas tank, fill your emotional well. And be grateful when all is calm.

A moment ago, I saw the sun peek out for the first time today. It’s gone again, but it reminded me that storms pass. And sometimes they’re not as bad as we expect.

It looks like Isaac will strengthen into a hurricane, and make landfall late Tuesday or early Wednesday somewhere on the Gulf Coast. My thoughts are with the people in the Gulf states—I hope they weather this storm safely. 

How do you prepare for storms—physical or emotional?

Everyday adventures

Look Mom, No Cavities!

August 24, 2012


Did you know that domestic horses need regular dental check ups? A combination of factors, including how a horse chews his food and the way a horse’s teeth continue to erupt through the gum during his lifetime, can create sharp edges or hooks that can actually cut his cheeks and tongue, affecting his eating and making it painful to be ridden with a bit in his mouth. Properly cared for teeth help the horse chew feed more effectively—he won’t drop as much, and there won’t be a build-up of improperly chewed food in his stomach that could cause impaction colic. Veterinarians often perform horse dental work, and there are also specialized equine dentists. They generally recommend dental check ups every six months to a year, depending on the horse’s needs.

When a vet or equine dentist takes off those sharp edges with a file, it’s called “floating” the teeth. This used to be done with a hand tool that looks like a large file (called a “float”), but many vets and equine dentists now use a power file with a diamond head—much easier on both vet and horse. The vet or equine dentist also inspects the mouth, teeth and gums for any abnormalities such as an abscess, broken or cracked teeth or even gum disease! Horses can also get cavities and need to have teeth pulled, just like humans. (As far as I know, brushing a horse’s teeth is not a common practice, however!)

As you might expect, horses do not generally like to have their mouths held open while a buzzing electric drill files down their molars. To float a horse’s teeth, he must be sedated. The vet/dentist uses a special halter and mouth speculum that holds the horse’s head up and his mouth open.

Hey, that's my tongue!
Last week, we had a visit from Advanced Equine Dentistry.  Dr. Jay Clifford is a vet, and Richard Grist, CEqD is an equine dentist.  They’re both very nice and easy to work with, so we always like seeing them. Tank is a good patient and is on a maintenance program, so it takes less than a half hour for him to board the rig, be sedated, have his teeth floated and be back out and waking up. (He always looks a little pathetic as the sedation wears off.) After an hour or so, I let him graze a bit before he goes back out with his buddies.

Zzzzzz...
So that’s your horse care lesson for the week, and Tank’s everyday adventure. Oh, and he got a clean bill of dental health!

Back to normal.

$500 Tip

Aaron's Last Wish

August 22, 2012

It started with a young man’s wish, left behind in his will: he wanted his family to leave an “awesome” tip for a server—not 25%, but something like $500 for a pizza. Aaron Collins died in July, just after his 30th birthday, and his family honored his last wish by collecting the funds for that “awesome tip,” eventually giving a $500 tip to a waitress who served them lunch. You can see the video here:



This act of generosity touched thousands of people who continue to send donations to the Collins family, who have pledged to keep leaving these tips until the money runs out. (As I write this, the donations stand at $58,787, or enough to give a $500 tip to 117 waiters or waitresses.) Others have taken it on themselves to leave their own substantial tips. (You can read more about this and see more videos by visiting aaroncollins.org.)

I love this story and wanted to share it with you. I’m touched by the love and generosity of the Collins family, and by the outflowing of love from people who have heard about what they are doing. You never know what a kind act will mean to someone, or how many people ultimately benefit.