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| Photo by Arthur Hinton on Unsplash |
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
—Daphne Rose Kingma
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| Our resident deer--something I will miss |
As I mentioned in “Summer Fun List Review—How Did I Do?” we’re getting ready to sell our home of nearly 28 years and move to a much smaller townhome just a few minutes away. Because we’re downsizing by about 1,000 square feet, we’ll have to get rid of a considerable amount of furniture and other belongings.
Decluttering has become my life.
Some decisions are obvious. We won’t have room for our
dining room table, china hutch, and sideboard so they have to go. We won’t need
many of our landscaping tools and equipment (the landscaping is taken care of by
our new HOA association), and my home office will have to share space with the
guest room, so I’ll need to sell or donate some of my office furniture (sob).
And so many books. Even though a home library is extremely
important to me, I’ll be purging books as I pack. Which ones are worthy of moving
with us?
Two questions
During the packing process, I’ve been asking myself two questions:
How much can I take?
And
How little do I need?
“How much can I take?” speaks to how I don’t want to feel I’m
losing items that are special to me as we downsize. I don’t want to get rid of
things I need and use, but I also don’t want to leave behind things that really
give me a sense of comfort and home. The glider rocker I’ve had since before my
son was born falls into this category. I really love that chair, and sit in it
often, letting the rocking motion calm me when I’m stirred up emotionally.
I’ve scribbled many first drafts on paper in that chair, pondered many a deep
thought. I’m not sure I will be able to find a spot for it in our new home, but
I really want to.
On the other hand, how little do I need? There is such
freedom in having less. Less stuff to clean, store, maintain. It’s calming to look
around a pared down space. I’m no minimalist, but I’m happy for this chance to
see how shedding excess will simplify my life and allow space for more joy.
OK, one more question
Looking at all my stuff with fresh eyes, I’m also asking, “Am I keeping this just because I’ve had it so long, or because I still love and use it?” Our current home has a LOT of decorative shelving which we’ve filled with various trinkets and doo dads over the years. With a lot less room for trinkets and doo dads, only the ones I really love for themselves will be making the move.
Some hard choices are coming—there will probably not be room
for everything I use and love, so even some favorites may have to be left
behind. That will have to be OK.
It never hurts to look around and evaluate the things you
live with. Eventually, we will probably all have to downsize, or leave it all
for our kids to deal with, and from personal experience, I do not recommend
this!
Have you thought about (or actually completed) decluttering
or downsizing? Any tips you can share?
For inspiration, check out The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. And if you have the streaming service Peacock, I also recommend the TV show of the same name based on the book.
*See what I did there? 😉😊
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| My jigsaw puzzle assistant |
While the calendar says that the season is nearly over, I
know that here in Florida we have many more days—months, probably—of “summer”
left. But September is just a few days away, so I’m calling it on the Summer
Fun List. Let’s see how I did!
Summer fun list 2024
Rewatch the
movie Clue. I enjoyed the stage production so
much, I want to rewatch the movie. Done.
Beach weekend getaway
with my husband. We tried, but nope.
Playdates with
friends—as many can I manage! Whether it’s lunch, coffee, floating in the pool,
or a trip to iSmash (see below), I plan to spend some quality time with friends
this summer. Coffee, lunch, floating in the pool, thrifting, crafting—it
was great!
Ride “Dougie” (fellow
boarder’s horse I’ve been given permission to ride) while Tank enjoys his
well-deserved retirement. Done.
Go to the movies—if I
can find something I want to see. With my husband, with a friend, or even by
myself. Twisters...dumb, but entertaining.
Complete at least one
jigsaw puzzle. Done.
Watch the Summer
Olympics being held in Paris (ah, Paris!) on TV. Done.
Make key lime ice
cream. Bought the ingredients but never made the ice cream. I still hope to
do it.
Go to iSmash—I have some frustrations I’d like to work
out! Nope, and I’m losing interest in paying to smash things, as
therapeutic as that sounds.
Watch Black Cake on Hulu. I loved the
book. Done, and I loved the TV version, too.
Read by the pool. One
way to enjoy the outdoors in a Florida summer is to get yourself wet.
An afternoon spent reading and then dipping into the pool when I get hot sounds
appealing. I usually prefer to skip the “wet” and “outside” parts of a reading
afternoon, but I’m trying to shake up my routine a bit. Noooooo, who was I
kidding?!
Create and read from
a summer reading list (see below). Done.
Summer reading
Summer is prime
reading time since I’ll be trying to stay cool. Here are some possibilities for
my summer reading. Even though I’m a fast reader, there’s no way I’ll get to
all of them. The ones with an * are priorities (completed titles in red):
Library books:
The Lost
Bookshop, Evie Woods (already
on hold)
The
Husbands, Holly Gramazio
(already on hold)
*My Murder, Katie Williams
*In Praise
of Slowness, Carl Honore
Laziness Does Not
Exist, Devon Price (In
progress)
We Are All
Completely Beside Ourselves,
Karen Joy Fowler
Enchantment, Katherine May
*Sister Carrie, Theodore Dreiser. The Project
Gutenberg e-book version is here.
*Queen of Bebop: The
Musical Lives of Sarah Vaughan,
Elaine M. Hayes
TBR shelf:
*Au Revoir, Mary Moody
*The Battle
of the Villa Fiorita, Rumer Godden
Touch Not
the Cat, Mary Stewart
Traveling While
Married, Mary-Lou
Weisman
*Draft No. 4, John McPhee
Drawing
from Life: The Journal as Art,
Jennifer New
August has been its usual difficult self. It’s been even more hot and humid than usual, Tank has been having a hard time with the heat, and as readers of the Happy Little Things newsletter know, we’re preparing to sell our house and move. Posting here on Catching Happiness may be erratic in the coming months, depending on what house-related shenanigans are taking place. I’m excited, but already feeling stressed and overwhelmed with the constantly growing list of tasks related to the move. I’ll do my best to continue to share simple pleasures and everyday adventures as we enter this new stage. Wish us luck!
How was your summer?
Now and then I dip into the Catching Happiness archives and share
a post from the past. I chose this post, from December of 2018, because my word
of the year for 2024 is build.
Friday’s quote from Operation Happiness got me thinking about the concept of building a foundation for happiness—the kind of foundation that will support us when we’re deep in grief, facing some of life’s more wrenching experiences, like losing a parent, watching a child struggle, or coping with the serious illness of a friend.
Building a foundation for happiness of this nature involves more than investing in some bubble bath and chocolate, or even a great book and cozy blanket. While comforting self-care rituals are nice (and necessary), by themselves they won’t be enough to support us during our darkest hours.
I went back through the Catching Happiness archives, and I thought about the things that have helped me most during my hardest times, and here are four I’ve found useful in building a foundation of happiness that sustains me. Perhaps they’ll help you, too.
Create and strengthen close personal relationships. Relationships are the number one contributing factor to happiness, according to a long-running Harvard study. I’m grateful that I have quality relationships with my family and my husband’s family. I also have many close friends, and many “virtual” friends I know only online. They’ve stepped in to offer support, love, encouragement and more when I’ve needed it most. I have several people I know are only a phone call or text message away if I really need help (and I hope they know I would do the same for them). It’s easier to walk through the dark valleys when someone walks beside you.
Determine and write about your personal values. Surprisingly, this is one of the keys to coping well with stressful situations. Sometimes painful feelings result from not doing what someone else expects you to do, or from making hard choices. When you’re tired of struggling, remembering why you’ve chosen to think, behave, and live the way you do can help. Reminding yourself of your personal values can give you strength when you’re suffering.
Treat your body well. Eat healthfully, exercise, and get enough sleep. If you’re run down or sick, it’s much harder to feel happy. If, like me, you have a few nagging injuries, look into how to treat them…then actually do it! Care for yourself the way you would care for a child or someone dependent on you.
Make a list of simple mood boosters. This may seem frivolous in comparison, but there is a time and place for using mood boosters. When you’re knee deep in misery, you’ll be hard pressed to come up with anything that might lift your mood, so now is the time to think about what generally makes you feel happier. See “Five Ways to Feel Happier (in 10 Minutes or Less)” and “The Dark Side” for ways I boost my mood when sadness threatens to overwhelm me.
If your happiness is built on a foundation of deeper values and practices, it will stay with you, running like an underground river even when you face un-happy experiences. Happy feelings will return, and sorrow and grief are temporary.
For more ways to seek deeper happiness, check out:
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| What my windows looked like all week Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash |
Greetings from waterlogged Florida. Even though Hurricane Debby made landfall well north of us, we’ve had nothing but rain, rain, and smothering humidity all week. Hat tip to Tampa Bay Times Columnist Stephanie Hayes for combining soggy with August to create Soggest…the best word I can think of to describe what it feels like here right now.
But we have better things to do
than complain about the weather, right? Right?!
Right. Here are some fun links to check
out if your August is a Soggest, or if you simply want a break from real life.
The Frugal Girl’s “How to add more fun into your daily life (on a budget, of course)” lists both mindset shifts and practical tips for adding more inexpensive fun to our lives when it feels like all we do is grind. One of my favorites: the “pit stop of fun.” Plenty of these could be free, but last week I picked up a milkshake while I was out running errands and I brightened my day for less than $5.
It will still be summer here until at least October, so I have plenty of time to enjoy these “99 Activities for Celebrating Summer.” I already regularly do some of these activities (enjoy seasonal fruit, grow potted herbs, work jigsaw puzzles), and I want to do a few more (plan a weekend escape to the beach, watch a sunset…preferably at the beach, make ice cream). Which ones would you like to try?
Tired of pursuing happiness? Maybe it’s time to “Give up on happiness. Go hard at wonder.” Monica Parker, author of The Power of Wonder, compares the feeling of wonder to watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis. “It is beautiful, complex, and even a little scary. This profound mix of awe, curiosity, and fear, is something that, when achieved, can expand our resilience and deepen our interpretation of the world around us.”
Here’s another article related to increasing positive emotion by accessing awe: “The surprising benefits of ‘awe walks’ for your health and well-being.”
If you were as enchanted as I was by American gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik, the “Clark Kent of gymnastics,” here’s a fun interview with him.
I found “The Haunting Mystery of Artist Laura Perea…” fascinating.
I can’t wait to see Wicked
on the big screen! Here’s the official trailer:
Have a great weekend!
