Happiness

Happiness is Contagious--Spread It Around!

January 21, 2010

Maybe it’s entered your mind, as it has mine, that pursuing and catching happiness might be just the tiniest bit selfish. Shouldn’t we be focusing on helping others and being responsible, upstanding members of society? Well, yes—but my guess is we are already doing those things. Even if we sometimes fall short in our own eyes, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carve out a little happiness for ourselves. We are each individuals who deserve to be happy. Period. But on days when the feeling of being “selfish” overcomes you, remember this: there is actual scientific research that shows that happiness is “contagious.”

A study published in the British Medial Journal (click here for the entire report) found that “the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends).” That means that if you’re happy, then it is more likely that your spouse or partner, your children, your friends, even your neighbors, will be happy, too. Some statistics from the study: living within a mile of a friend who becomes happy increases the probability that you will be happy by 25%. A live-in partner who becomes happy increases the likelihood of his or her partner’s happiness by 8%; a sibling who lives close by, by 14% and nearby neighbors got the biggest boost in likelihood of happiness—34%! Catching happiness for yourself is almost certain to make others happy, too.

What makes you happy? Is it something small, like having a half hour to read or do a crossword puzzle at the end of the day? Is it something larger, like volunteering for a cause you believe in, or working a job that you love that you feel makes a difference in the world? Take a look at your life. What’s working? What isn’t? What aren’t you doing that you would love to do? What can you stop doing that you hate? Figure out what makes you happy and go for it.

What are you waiting for? Go catch some happiness…then spread it around!

I'm happy

Guilt

Is It OK to Be Happy?

October 27, 2017

In 2017 we’ve seen terrible stories of loss and suffering. Hurricanes, wildfires, mass shootings, a volatile and divisive political climate—and that’s just in the U.S. Every day it seems there’s a story that will break your heart. In the face of all this, I sometimes wonder if it’s OK to be happy. How can I be when so many people are miserable? Do you ever wonder this, too?

I won’t keep you in suspense. The short answer is yes, it’s OK to be happy.

The kind of happiness Catching Happiness is ultimately concerned with is not only the “simple pleasures and everyday adventures” of the tagline, but the deeper waters of joy and contentment. Joy and contentment come from living the best life we can live, doing what we think is right in most situations, appreciating what we have, sharing with others and helping when we can, enjoying and savoring the good in our lives, and learning from our mistakes and tribulations.

Though I personally am not suffering at this moment, suffering happens. It’s happened to me before, and is certain to happen again. I need to embrace the happy times and not waste them or push them away in fear of what the future holds.

It’s much easier to be—and talk about—being unhappy. We bond over complaining, forming instant connections over irritants like traffic jams or the latest crisis in our lives. But when it comes to sharing our happiness, we’re afraid it sounds like bragging. We can be afraid to share the highs with others because we think it will make them feel bad, but is this really true? That probably depends on the audience. It’s possible someone you don’t know very well and who’s not familiar with your life’s ups and downs might think you’re bragging. But if it’s someone who cares about you, he or she will likely be happy for you. Use sensitivity and tact when sharing the good. Sometimes your happiness will be an inspiration and encouragement to others. At least they don’t have to worry about you!

Remember this: Our happiness does not hurt anyone. Our unhappiness doesn’t help anyone.

Also remember: happiness is contagious. 

So go ahead and be happy. Bring your awareness to what makes you feel happy, and don’t be afraid to share your happiness with others. This world is in desperate need of more good stories and happy adventures.

What is one thing you’re happy about right now?

One of things that makes me happy

Happiness

Get Your Happy On--Celebrate International Day of Happiness

March 20, 2015



Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to be happy. Not just for yourself, but for those around you (there is proof that happiness is contagious).

Why today? Because March 20 is International Day of Happiness, established by the United Nations to celebrate and promote “the happiness and well-being of all peoples.” Truly a cause I can get behind!

Of course, there are a number of official happiness events, and even a Facebook page, but you can celebrate in your own way.  Take the chance to think about what makes you happy—and do it! True happiness is not about what you have or only about seeking your own pleasure. True happiness stems from, among other things, meaning and appreciation. I know I’m happiest when I’m working at what I believe to be my true purpose, while at the same time noticing and appreciating all the good things in my life.

So go ahead—be happy. (And do share on social media using the hashtag #InternationalDayofHappiness.)

Here are three links to inspire you:

25 Inspirational Sayings About Joy

“7 Ways to Celebrate International Day of Happiness”

Happy music!


How will you celebrate happiness today?

gratitude

Do You Know How to "Do" Happy?

April 25, 2016

I like getting out of bed in the morning. Most days, I look forward to what I have planned—I always have plenty to do, but I enjoy most of it. I’m currently healthy and facing no immediate emergencies, nor am I working my way through any crises.


Knock wood.

I was almost afraid to write the words above because I’m just superstitious enough not to want to jinx things. I also don’t want to brag or portray my life or my self as being without flaws—both of those things are untrue, obviously. But right here, right now, things are awfully good. I can complain, whine, and worry with the best of them, but can I actually be…happy? 

While it’s true that there is much to be upset and unhappy about in the world, there is also much to be happy and grateful for. I’m not always able to enjoy the happy—indeed, I often feel guilty or nervous about doing so—but I want to get over that.  I don’t want to miss or overlook my own happiness! So I’ve been thinking about how to relax and enjoy it when things are going well in my life. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself in a happy place like I am right now, here are some tips to help you “do” happy:

First, be grateful. Don’t take the happy times for granted. Pause at the beginning or end of the day to ponder what’s going right, or even better, write down the things you are grateful for. (Research has demonstrated that this practice improves happiness and well being.) 

Savor the happy. Notice and enjoy what’s good, happy, and right about your life. This is where I stumble—unbelievably, I think I’m afraid to be happy! (I’m afraid if I feel too happy, it might get taken away.) Yes, it’s inevitable that happy times pass, just as unhappy ones do. How sad if you miss out on fully enjoying your own happiness because you’re afraid you might lose it.

Prepare for bad times. Perhaps you could tuck away some money to use for things that will help you ease through difficult times, like a massage, a few extra take out meals, and so on. Go ahead and keep that gratitude journal so when things are hard you can look back at written proof of happier times. Stock a comfort drawer. Think about the things that are making you happy and take steps to keep them going as long as possible. 

Share your good fortune. This doesn’t mean rubbing your happiness in others’ faces, but providing support and encouragement to them while you have the mental and emotional resources to do so. Look around—is there someone who is currently going through a hard time whom you can comfort? Perhaps you can write a note to someone you care about expressing your feelings for them. Happiness is contagious—why not spread it around?

As strange as it sounds, “doing” happy doesn’t always come easy. I hope these tips will help you enjoy the happy times when they come, and that there are many happy times in your future to enjoy.

How do you “do” happy?

Forensics

"Every Contact Leaves a Trace"

January 13, 2017


I’ve been thinking about a forensic investigation technique lately—and not just because I like reading mysteries. No, it’s because I recently came across Dr. Edmond Locard’s principle of exchange, which states, “Every contact leaves a trace.” This principle is the basis of forensic science—trace evidence, such as fingerprints, DNA, footprints, or fibers, can now be used to link people or objects to crime scenes.

Every contact does leave a trace, and not just forensically speaking. The people around us, and what we allow into our surroundings and our minds, leave traces on us and in us. We all have people in our lives who inspire, energize, and encourage us, and thank goodness for them. We probably also know people who drain us of energy or leave us anxious and irritated after every encounter. To protect our happiness and overall mental state, we can seek out the people and things which lift us up, while minimizing contact with the people and things which leave a negative trace.

I try to walk the line between hiding from the legitimate problems in the world and allowing them too much space in my head. I know what I choose to read and to watch leaves a trace, so I don’t choose to read or watch certain things, no matter how worthy they might be. I surround myself as much as is in my power with things I want to leave a trace on my world. My office especially is a place that holds symbols and talismans of inspiration, as well as reminders of love others have shown me, and things I aspire to.  I’m also fortunate enough to have a great deal of control over the people I interact with, and therefore most of them leave positive traces.

What about the traces we ourselves are leaving? It bears remembering that we have the power to influence others with our words and actions.  After all, happiness is contagious.

With every interaction, we touch others and they touch us. What kind of trace will you leave?

Awards

You Said It

January 21, 2013

Do you know how much I love reading comments? Whenever I put up a blog post, I eagerly wait to see what you have to say in response. I read every comment and try to respond to each one. It means a great deal to me when you say something nice about the post, of course, but I also love to hear your thoughts on the topic of the day. In return, I try to visit as many blogs as possible and leave my own comments—even if it’s just a sentence or two so the blogger knows someone has read and understood her (99% of the time it’s a her) words. We all like to be seen and acknowledged, don’t we?

For several months, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a post quoting you, my wise and witty readers—and today’s the day. Since I’ve been blogging these past three years, you’ve followed my ups and downs and chipped in with your advice and encouragement. Below you’ll find just a few of the comments that have made a difference to me in the last three years, in no particular order. Comments have been edited for length, but not changed in meaning.

From “What is This Feeling?”:

Sara: “A friend once told me to buy 5 x 7 cards and whenever you have ‘light’ moment or one that's happy and totally present, you write it down and keep them in one of those albums you can buy at a pharmacy for pictures.

Whenever you're feeling a loss of light, you look through it and remember the times when the ‘light’ was there.” 

From “Happiness Busters”:

Laure: “Some of my happiness busters are being overly tired, too much ‘news’ that I can't do anything about, and some of the ones you mention.

The words to one of the Eagles' songs, Already Gone, keep running through my mind,
‘...so oftentimes it happens we live our life in chains/That we never even know we have the key.....’

How often do we hold ourselves down, back, under, less than, not good enough, not enough and so on, when really…we are more than enough and far more? We just don't understand we are the key.”

From “Puzzled”:

Laure: “To my way of thinking there are seeds of bad in all good things that happen and seeds of good in all bad things that happen…it is up to us which we cultivate.”

Elizabeth: “I agree with Laure—there are seeds of both in every experience…and with Kathy and the story of the farmer—time will tell which is good or bad.

It seems to me that it is nearly always up to ME in how I choose to see an event. Sometimes stepping back to observe the big picture is all I need to adjust my thinking.”

From “The Importance of Mistakes”:

Kathy M: “The older that I get, the less hard I am on myself and on others. I wish that I had done many things different, but, look, it has all turned out fine in spite of myself.

Long ago I heard that regret in a way insults the person that I was long ago, before I knew better. Life is a journey, and perhaps when we are better at forgiving ourselves we become better at forgiving others.”

From “RX for Troubled Times”:

Timaree: “Sometimes we get frozen in the litany of things happening all around of which we have little say. Mother Teresa used to tell people when they asked what they could do, to love and take care of their families. That's our first and most important job and when that is taken care of, we can branch out. Like you, I would love to see a world of people being kind to one another. It has to start somewhere and if taking care of ourselves gets us going then let's do it. I read on another post today about a smile that led to one thing and then another and another. That's something we should all be able to do—give a smile. They can be contagious as a yawn.”

And though I didn’t include quotes from you in this list, I deeply appreciate the continued friendship and input of Claire, Cheryl, and Danielle. (And I miss you, Meredith!) I thank you for all your encouraging, wise, funny and delightful comments. And because you all have made such a difference to me, I pass on the “Wonderful Team Member Award” to each one of you. (Thank you to Kathy of Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy who passed this on to me.) I know some bloggers aren’t big on awards, but I liked this one because it honors the thoughtfulness of blog readers. Feel free to accept and pass on if you wish. If otherwise, just know that I (and all bloggers) appreciate your taking the time to comment on our work.

If you choose to participate, the rules are as follows:
  1. Thank the nominator and link back to their site (Thanks, Kathy—see above).
  2. Display the award (see below).
  3. Nominate no more than 14 readers of your blog you appreciate and leave a comment on their blogs to let them know about the award.
  4. Finish this sentence: A great reader is…Someone who reads in a spirit of curiosity and openness, takes what she can from what she reads and lets the rest go. 

Charles Dickens

The Right Kind of Contagious

December 23, 2022

Photo by Igor Rodrigues on Unsplash

“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”

—Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol


I wish all of you a most joyful and happy holiday season, and a happy New Year. The Happy Little Thoughts newsletter will go out on Wednesday, Dec. 28 (subscribe here), but this will be the last Catching Happiness post for 2022. I’ll be taking some time off to be with family, to reflect thoughtfully on this year, and plan for 2023. Thank you so much for your presence here on Catching Happiness.


Anger

Create Some Ripples--Spread Kindness

October 07, 2013

Photo courtesy SP Veres

 “You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.”
—Publilius Syrus

I don’t write about current events and the issues of the day because, frankly, they’re too complicated, give me anxiety attacks and make me feel helpless. I’d much rather concentrate on the smaller, day-to-day issues and experiences we all face, that we all can do something about. The current political and financial condition of the US, in particular, is scary beyond belief (and my Rays are down to the Red Sox 0-2!). I can do nothing to affect either of those situations. What can I do? I can be kind.

And before you laugh at what seems to be a completely inadequate response, hear me out. Like happiness, kindness can be contagious. Apparently, according to research by a California professor, one act of kindness can spawn others as people “pay it forward.” Just think what a different world we could live in if millions of people would simply do one kind thing every day. (For a preview of a documentary on the subject, click here.)

What is kindness? My definition includes consideration, gentleness and generosity. Being kind isn’t necessarily the same thing as being “nice.” Kindness has power. Choosing to be kind means we’ve thought through our actions and decided to act for the good of another. We can be kind with words, but more often kindness requires action. We don’t have to like someone to be kind. We don’t have to agree with them to be kind. We don’t even have to know them. We can, always, speak with respect, and treat others the way we would like to be treated. (I’m betting you don’t want to be shouted or honked at, or told you’re wrong or stupid, for example—all too frequent occurrences in this unkind world.)

Instead of taking our frustrations and anger out on others, let’s be kind. Instead of ranting about the state of the world, let’s help a neighbor take her trash to the curb, donate to a food bank or take our old towels to the animal shelter. Maybe we can’t make our country’s budget woes go away (or help the Rays win a game), but we can reach out to a friend, acquaintance or stranger and lighten his or her load just for a moment.  

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
—Scott Adams